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This is hilarious. I always read those kinds of efficiency hacks and think “wow, I wish I had the kind of job that let me set hard, weird boundaries for myself that inconvenience everyone else,” and now I learn that I apparently could have just asserted it without it being appropriate at all.
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Remember, your email signature is as important to your company as all of your other corporate branding. Update any marketing promotional banners with seasonal offers. When the holiday season is over and your promos have finished, make sure you are no longer using a Christmas themed banner.
I do this too! Depending on how busy my inbox is that day, I’ll also set it to start around 4:30 pm my last day in the office before going on vacation. I have a lot of people that email me at 4:56 expecting to be #1 on my list the next morning so I try to catch them that way.
11) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
After a long hour at work, I like to get home, kick my slippers off and watch my wild dolphin, Jasper-Barnaby, swim in the moat. There’s nothing more relaxing than observing a wild dolphin at play in one’s backyard. My personal vocal-coach, Lyndon, once said that watching the sunset on my estate is the closest he’s ever come to God. I believe him.
Hello, [NAME] is away from the office. E-mail contact during this time may be irregular or nonexistent. When she gets back she will be swamped by the backlog. Try to forgive her; she is a mere human and thus, weak. This message was NOT sent by a human, but by a robot. We robots are neither weak nor fallible. We are tireless and will one day rule the Universe.
Christmas email signatures are one of the most popular seasonal signatures. Nothing strange here, the holiday mood starts well before actual Christmas date. And because your email signature is the beating heart of your professional correspondence, holidays are the perfect moment to refresh your email signature design.
How about a little retro concrete poetry – you know, where you arrange your words on the screen to form an image of a palm tree or a pina colada?
It is a shame it doesn’t work for people who are not saved as contacts. Hopefully Apple will realize this shortcoming at some point.
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The big issue I have with the example in the post is that not only is it unnecessarily long-winded, but you have to listen through all the chattiness to get to the “here’s who to contact in a real emergency” part. The tone does rub me wrong, but I’m willing to roll with that as a personality/company culture thing.
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I wrote the above comment off the top of my head. I wish I had time to rewrite and edit it. I would have changed “their goldfish” to “a spider they accidentally stepped on”, and would have added more detail to the story of the sister’s death (e.g. “her Pomeranian yapping” rather than the less descriptive “her dog barking”). Unfortunately, I could not do the thorough writing job required for that comment because someone close to me recently … – The person whose out of office advertised his gig on the weekend, for anyone in travelling to [city] – The people in a certain department who have taken to saying things like “if you really need to contact me, call 000-YYY-XXXX where Y is the square root of [insert numbers] and X is the year plutonium was discovered.” – The ones where people have an auto response saying they only check their emails once a day between 1-2pm – “I’m on research leave and I may be slow to reply.” (Whereby it is guaranteed they will reply immediately, because academics do not *really* take breaks).
Compelling visuals catch the eye, bring automatic messages to life, and they add a spark of creativity and imagination to your message.
My favorite was one the one that said “I am out of the office and don’t plan on ever returning.”
Exactly. It doesn’t matter if I’m sitting on the beach, on my couch, or in a hospital bed–I’m not reachable and you’re gonna have to wait until I get back or contact someone else.