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I’ll return on [date] or after I watch [favourite holiday movie] one too many times (whichever comes first)—and will respond to your message at that time.

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I would be SUPER annoyed to get this! I agree it seems condescending and it’s just too long.
The big issue I have with the example in the post is that not only is it unnecessarily long-winded, but you have to listen through all the chattiness to get to the “here’s who to contact in a real emergency” part. The tone does rub me wrong, but I’m willing to roll with that as a personality/company culture thing. .

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The example above (which comes from NY Times) may not take advantage of some of the tips we mentioned, but it’s great because it’s so short. Due to its absent-minded straightforwardness, such a message can be perceived as a real, non-automated reply — as if you were so busy that you only carved out a few seconds to type these five words.
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The main goal of an auto-respond email is to ensure clarity of communication expectations and offer appropriate alternatives.
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It’s up to you whether you want to explicitly state that you’ve been furloughed. If you’re working at a company or industry where a sizable portion of the workforce has been furloughed, it might be confusing not to say so. You might write:

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First, take your pick: you can create a mellow, professional out of office email (your CEO will approve!) or, you can make an auto-reply that's a bit goofier.

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    I hate unnecessary out of office messages. You don’t need to tell me you will be out for two hours. If it was that important, I would not be using e-mail!

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    Best wishes for happy holidays and a magnificent New Year. May the holiday season bring only happiness and joy to you and your loved ones. Wishing you and your loved ones peace, health, happiness, and prosperity in the coming New Year. Let the spirit of love gently fill our hearts and homes.

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    It doesn’t matter whether you’re going to be out of the office for a few days, or a few months – if you’re going on vacation, it’s critical to remember to set up your out-of-office autoresponder.

    There is no option on the iPhone Mail app to set the vacation response for emails. However, like iCloud, most of the other email providers are also offering to set an automatic vacation response, including Gmail, Yahoo Mail, HotMail providers.
    Think about your tone and mood - you don't know who'll be getting these out of office auto reply emails so be mindful of the impression you make. Think of the boss, the CEO, a colleague you like, family members, clients you like. That said, there are some bridge-burner examples below to tempt you!

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    “For example, if a hacker knows that the chief financial officer of a company is OOO, thanks to the information in the auto-reply message, an attacker could impersonate the CFO on email and target another individual in the company’s finance team asking them to make a payment or update bank details for them while they are offline,” says Sadler.

    12. "Hi, you've reached [company]. We're available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you'd like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the tone."
    Most of what I’m describing (as well as boyd) boils down to examples of clear, honest, communication. While it sounds simple, such openness is extremely rare in the workplace. It is rare because, especially with time off, this type of communication requires the sender to be vulnerable, to cede control, and/or to be assertive and frank about one’s needs.

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    So, take a lesson from @courtwhip, editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, who wrote the above hilarious out-of-office email, fully stocked with mentions of the best movies from the 1990s. (By the way, "Splinter" is from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and as we all know, he loves pizza.)

    The Management Office will be closed on [date] for [Holiday Name]. Any inconvenience caused is much regretted.
    Hi, I’m out of the office with no access to email until [MM/DD]. If your request is urgent, you can contact [email] for assistance. Otherwise, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible when I return. While you wait, subscribe to our fantastic newsletter[link]. Get actionable tips once per week geared toward helping you grow your business.

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Out of Office replies can be turned on very easily and even timed to expire at a designated time. But did you know you can customize your OOF so that some people do not get the auto reply, or that they get a customized reply different than the rest of the group? The steps below will show you how.

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3. 3 The Bedford Falls. Season’s Greetings! I’m currently curled up on the couch with fuzzy slippers on my feet, a blanket across my lap, and a mug of cocoa in my hand.

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Over time, I began to suspect that those who might be telling the truth (of which I suspected there were very few), would mention their relationship to the person and possibly the cause, for example “My grandmother just passed away after surgery.” The ones who left it wide open (“someone close has recently died”) led me to imagine that it could be a random person in their city that they read about in the news, their goldfish, or perhaps a distant relative who had passed away in the previous few years.

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Will this work if the phone is off or in airplane mode? I’m leaving the country and I can almost guarantee someone is going to text me and then get really mad even though I told them I was leaving.

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