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The one I’ve always wished I was brave enough to write was the one I once got which simply said:

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212-555-1212The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
On the other hand, you can get more interesting or playful with subject lines such as: .

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I hope you’re having an A+ [week, month]. I’m out of the office at this great conference [link to the event]. It takes place on [date] at [time] in [city and location].
Dear Customer, Thank you for your email, but our company is out of office, celebrating [HOLIDAY]. Unfortunately, it means we will not be able to send you any reply until [DATE]. We apologize for the delay but wish you a wonderful holiday season. Best regards.

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Website: https://www.ringcentral.com/us/en/blog/setting-up-vacation-and-holiday-call-rules/
I forgot I did that and it was pointed out by a recruiter who was trying to reach me to schedule a phone screen. Whoops, haha.

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I misread that at first and thought you’d said that a random picture of a employee popped up, and was momentarily horrified at the thought of my face appearing on my co-workers screens!

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    Giving the option to contact an email address containing "interruptyourvacation" provides two things — 1) A dose of humor, and 2) discouragement from actually doing what the name suggests. Plus, he prefaces it with a request for empathy, by explaining that he promised quality time to his family.

    An out of office message is basically a quality of life feature both for you and your business contacts. By warning your clients that you won’t be able to reply to their message right away you save the time they might have wasted on follow ups. You also won’t lose prospects who might’ve believed that you’re ignoring their request otherwise.
    I worked in a call center for Big-Evil-Bank for five years, and every new manager would have a different OOO policy/pet peeve that they would require phone-miners to follow. In particular, the memory of the six month period where we were forced to put an OOO up if we left our desk for so much as ONE HOUR smacked me in the face when I saw question. That was by far the worst/strangest/most tedious OOO policy I have ever been forced to follow.

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    Thank you for your message. I’m on sick leave and will get back to you as soon as I return to the office.

    Our mission is to provide you a result-driven online framework to facilitate business growth and maximise your potential for successful online marketing at a fair price.
    Whatever you decide before heading out for that much-needed time off, it’s imperative that you set up an out of office reply. Your customers and co-workers don’t get that same pause button as you do. That’s why you should inform everyone that needs to know about your time off.

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    I personally like it. Of course, the emails that I’ve seen still say what to do if the matter is urgent and needs to be handled now — but as a person who gets 100+ emails a day, whether I tell you I’m deleting all of them when I get back or not — if it is in the thousands of emails that might accumulate in the time I am off, I’m not going to see it or respond. Better that I tell you now that you are going to have to resend the email after I return (or get my backup to handle it now) than you sit around waiting for a response that is never going to come. It is actually pretty common in my industry for any absence two weeks or more.

    Yes! I HATE the voicemails that are like “can you give me a call back?” Like… give me some context so you can end up on my to-do list in the right place. People who leave these voicemails automatically go on the bottom.
    My grandboss used to put in his OOO: ‘I’m out of the office. If you need x or y, contact Andy or Jane. They know stuff.

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    I’m out of the office from 01.02.2021 until 05.02.2021. During this period I will have no access to my email.

    Changing it every evening is definitely too much, though. I would assume the vast majority of people sending business email understand the concept of working and non-working hours…
    If I got an OoO just to tell me to have a good day, I would find that person and throw water on their computer. They’re obviously not qualified to operate one.

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I managed to get through 9-month contract roles at two different workplaces without ever setting up voicemail. Even though they were not phone-oriented workplaces I’m a little surprised I got away with that! Interestingly, in all that time only one person ever noticed and said something.

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I think it’s irritating and condescending and could have been funny if only one of the goofy elements was incorporated, instead of trying to make a cohesive comedy bit. It seems like the points should be reversed. Most urgent to least urgent. If I have a truly urgent issue I don’t want to read through that I should ask myself if it’s important and urgent. If it’s something that can wait, I’ll just expect a delay. If it’s not important or at least worth communicating, I wouldn’t be sending the email.

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Thank you for your email. I’m currently out of the office, returning on [return date].

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Sorry to miss you. I wrapped up everything at the office and am off on vacation until [DAY OF WEEK], [DATE]. Anyway, if your question or favour can wait, great. If not, do me a favour and forward your email to [EMAIL] and you’ll be well-treated. Thanks. (Source: Futureofworking.com)

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