I am in [COUNTRY] [DATE] to [DATE] so email replies may be tardy due to the curvature of the earth and the sun. Thank you.
As 2020 winds down, lots of people (us included) will be out of the office celebrating the holidays with family and friends. Here are some really funny, clever and snarky out-of-office messages sent this year, courtesy of HubSpot Blogs (full article here).
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I apologise for this blunt email, yet feel I must warn customers and shareholders to divest yourself of any interests you hold in this company as the **** is about to hit the fan.
There are multiple ways to craft your out-of-office message, but there are a couple of standard best practices to follow that will ensure you don’t come back to angry or confused customers, coworkers, or vendors.
That would drive me mad. I’m okay with in meetings all day but if you’re just going home at a normal time that’s ridiculous!
One of your European connections here. When I know the person covering me will also be away for part of the time I’m gone, I get another colleague to cover for those dates and put that in my OOO. Saying “Your e-mail will not be read” or similar is really off-putting. The youth worker at my church does this and I find it infuriating. Of course it won’t. That’s the point of a holiday. When I get an answer from someone who reads his e-mails on vacation I’m pleasantly surprised.
Please accept our apology for the inconvenience this may cause. We are thankful for your understanding.
Switching between apps to get things done will break the continuum of work. Working on records in the CRM and collaborating on other apps simultaneously ...
Oh hey, It’s Christmas, what are you doing emailing me? I’m extremely busy watching Home Alone, Die Hard, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas Special on repeat until the new year. I might stop for food and toilet breaks, I also might now. Regardless of my general health and hygiene over the silly season, I’ll be back in office on January nd. Catch ya then, don’t forget to buy a pepperoni pizza for Splinter.
Thank you for calling [Company Name]. If you know your party’s extension, please dial it at any time. To reach our company directory, press 1. For more information about [Company Name], press 2. If you are an existing customer, please press 3. For billing questions, press 4. To repeat menu options, press 9. For all other inquiries, press 0. 3. Language Options
Should the matter be important, please contact Jim Ross ([email protected]) in my absence. Kind regards.
To remind us – as if we needed reminding, as we vainly strive for ‘inbox zero’ – of just what a time drain email has become, Kay Woodward, UK-based author of What Would She Do?, has wryly channelled one of her book’s real-life heroines, Emmeline Pankhurst (and Pankhurst’s movement’s motto) in her OOO. “Deeds, not emails. That’s what the Suffragettes need. And let’s face it, I’m probably in prison anyway, so couldn’t reply even if I wanted to.”
Yeah, it’s very strange. I understood changing voicemails to explain that the line can’t actually be answered, but someone is checking the messages and will respond (though that was also only an issue for the first few months), but they had no reason to even mention it for email. I started my job 3 months into lockdown, and by that point, procedures were in place to pretty much allow us to operate normally, albeit with a lot more done electronically than before.
I want to be clear that I don’t think OOO responders are the solution to the larger problems of worker inequality or the broad American cultural attitudes that celebrate and encourage overwork. That would be silly. The big remedies for what ails modern work will likely require workers organizing and employers recognizing and granting protections. Large companies will have to stop prioritizing shareholder at the expense of their workers. I’m aware how unlikely this feels in practice and how a thoughtful auto reply email feels like applying a band-aid on a gunshot wound. I get it.
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