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The worst one I ever received was from a coworker (senior to me, but not my manager) many years ago. I’ll paraphrase it as my memory isn’t great:

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I remember a phone tree that at the end of the normal boring options there was “To hear a duck press 8”
Closing Off with a Signature. First and foremost, one of the most common ways you close out a letter formally is by leaving your signature. So, if your letter is actually a hard copy, leaving some space under the end of the letter will be enough for your signature to fit. .

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Point out trends you’ve seen in your friend over and months and years, such as improvements in how he or she relates to others. If you know it’s a struggle for your friend to keep her cool under deadlines at work, you could tell her, “I’ve noticed how patient you are with your office coworkers lately.”
However, I will be taking periodic breaks from binge-watching everything I’ve missed to check my email [once per day/every evening/occasionally] while I’m away.

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It’s Christmas, what are you doing emailing me? I’m extremely busy watching Home Alone, Die Hard, and the 1994 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas Special on repeat until the new year. I might stop for food and toilet breaks, I also might now. Regardless of my general health and hygiene over the silly season, I’ll be back in office on January 2nd. Catch ya then, don’t forget to buy a pepperoni pizza for Splinter. (Source: Futureofworking.com)
Here’s wishing each and every one of you the fun and joyous holiday you truly deserve! Tweet Examples & Tips for Festive Out-Of-Office Email Responses Whether you’re taking time off for festivities, using the last of your holiday entitlement, absent through winter illness or your company conducts a Christmas shutdown, you probably need to utilise your email out-of-office function in December.

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Save time and direct folks to a page with answers to frequently asked questions in an autoresponse to help sort and prioritize customer service inquiries. Thanks for reaching SimpleTexting, my name is Jenny. While you wait for a customer support rep, see if we can answer your question here https://txt.st/PQBLPE.

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Yes, the given procedure to auto reply text in iPhone is absolutely correct and nicely explained here which is very clearly understandable by the viewers.

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    Happy holidays! I am currently out of the office, with no email access. I’ll be returning on (insert date) and will get back to you as soon as I can.

    5. Out of the Office this Week with Alternative Contact Email. [Greeting] I will be out of the office this entire week. For all urgent matters that need immediate assistance, then please contact
    1. 1 The Scrooge. Hellooooo . . . You’ve reached the Ghost of Holidays Future. Whose future? Yours, of course! Let me show you what it looks like. Step this way.

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    Thanks for your email. I’m currently offline, returning on [date]. I’ll respond to your message then.

    Also known as "autoresponder emails," out-of-office messages run the gamut. From funny, to clever, to snarky, this message can both show your personality and let senders know that, well, you’re out of office.
    Supervisors with employees who work during winter break should track hours using the Winter Break Hours Tracking spreadsheet. Please follow the instructions provided and contact your Human Resources consultant with any questions.

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    I am on emergency leave for today with no access to emails and phone calls. Hence, kindly expect a delayed response. To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video

    Whenever you need to step away from the office and won't be able to respond to emails as quickly as you usually do, it is good practice to create an out-of-office email autoresponder to guide your email correspondents on how to reach you, who else to contact, and/or what to do next.
    Start with a friendly greeting. Skip the "Greetings," "Salutations," "Dear sir/madam." These are far too stuffy and robotic. Instead, start off your response with a simple "Hi" or Hello.

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    As long as you’ve covered the basics—dates of your absence and who to contact in your absence—you should be good to go.

    Please note that all queries and orders posted at least [X] days before [starting date of the holidays] or during holidays will be processed immediately once we are back at the store.
    We log in to the voicemail account and simply activate any of the 4 greetings. With our Cisco VoIP system, I am able to create a Standard, Alternate, Closing and Holiday greeting, however, I can only activate/use the Standard or Alternate Greeting during business hours. I can only activate the Closed or Holiday during specific times.

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i’m just waiting for the inevitable “Believe it or not, ___ isn’t at work. where could i beeee?” a la Seinfeld

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9 scripts for holiday voicemail greetings. Below we have listed several ideas for great voicemail messages, depending on your company’s needs. 1. Happy [X holiday]! You’ve reached [ company’s name]. We are closed from [X date] till [X date] for the celebration of [X holiday].

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I believe that it’s happened more than once. This news items includes a video with some other examples – ‘Wine and ghosts ‘ is my personal favourite. https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-responsible-welsh-translation-gaffe-15214716

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I don’t think a lot of people working there made a habit of doing that, which is why a lot of people felt the no external OOO policy was excessive.

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