And… it’s playing in the background as I write this email. Guess what? I’m on vacation! And I do love my occupation.
Both your customers and your employees need to know how long your business will be shut down for the holidays. Provide notice well in advance. Depending on the types of services you offer, you may need to start notifying customers as early as a month out. It would be best if you were to provide these important notifications at least two weeks before the holiday shutdown. Employees should also be reminded regularly that the company will not be open during those important days.
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In urgent issues, you can contact (YOUR COLLEAGUE’SNAME) by mail: [email protected].
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I will be out of the office for an extended period starting on (Starting date) until (End date).
Anybody that might need me that quickly should have access to my calendar and can see I’m in a meeting. Anybody that can’t see my calendar shouldn’t expect a reply in an hour unless I’d said I’d be available or something.
Each time McClure makes an appearance in these out-of-office messages, he "speaks" on behalf of my colleague and alludes to the previous auto-responses in which he starred. It's a mild form of self-deprecating humor — as if to say, "I know, I'm out of the office again" — made only funnier by the made-up teaser title included in the last line.
Thank you for your email. Your message is important to me and I will respond as soon as possible. Thank you!
I don’t think OP meant condescending to the person’s teammates so much as condescending to the reader. The person over-explains each option and I can see how it would read as ‘wow, you are really dumb and obviously need some handholding to figure out simple decision-making!’ That likely wasn’t the intent, I understand, but I get why people might take it that way.
It’s my favorite time of year, which means I’m currently away from my inbox chugging mugs of cocoa, stuffing my face with cookies, and attempting to fulfill my life-long goal of memorizing every single line of [your favorite holiday movie].
The only thing I add to that boilerplate is if I’m working but mostly unavailable.
Try something like, "For immediate assistance, please contact Boss Name at [email protected]."
Hello, [NAME] is away from the office. E-mail contact during this time may be irregular or nonexistent. When she gets back she will be swamped by the backlog. Try to forgive her; she is a mere human and thus, weak. This message was NOT sent by a human, but by a robot. We robots are neither weak nor fallible. We are tireless and will one day rule the Universe.
But some of us just aren’t as lucky. Or if we’re traveling during the winter and heading up north — well, we’re going to run into some snow, aren’t we?
I will be away from 03.04.2020 until 13.04.2020. For urgent matters, you can contact (COLLEAGUE NAME).
A literary agent I follow told the story of a long argument her autoreply had with a would-be author. She’d set up the outbound email while out of town and apparently an author who queried her with his book took offense to it. He replied back in frustration that he didn’t get a personal response. Her autoreply sent back another automated message, which he then in increasing anger kept responding to.
I have a couple people that I work with though who set them for outside their normal work hours, like they automatically kick on at 4:30pm and off at 8am or whatever, and then there’s the one special snowflake who sets her out of office not only when she leaves for the day every day, but also when she takes her half hour lunch or her fifteen minute break, Jesus wept.