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I think this was from some outside contractor: “I have decided to retire to Pluto. Please send all work related enquiries to Cecil.Mongoose at llamagroomers dot com, or if you prefer an intergalactic means of communication my personal address is fergus at pluto dot com.”

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I’ll also admit to not changing my voicemail for OoO in the past 3 or 4 years. I rarely get calls anymore it’s just not worth it… I figure if they don’t reach me by phone they’ve already emailed me or will email me after the voicemail.
I’ll be sure to reply to your message when I wade through my inbox upon my return. If your message is urgent and requires immediate attention, please send an email to [contact name] at [contact email]. .

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We are closed today for the [public holiday name]. Our office will re-open tomorrow at am.
If your email truly is urgent and you need a response while I’m on vacation, please resend it to [email protected] and I’ll try to respond to it promptly.

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Website: https://www.eou.edu/coronavirus/2020/03/24/march-24-2020-voicemail-and-phone-instructions-when-working-from-home/
Each time McClure makes an appearance in these out-of-office messages, he “speaks” on behalf of my colleague and alludes to the previous auto-responses in which he starred. It’s a mild form of self-deprecating humor — as if to say, “I know, I’m out of the office again” — made only funnier by the made-up teaser title included in the last line.

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I understand how important it is for you to get the information and services that you need, however, I am no longer with Jones Consulting.

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I’d probably say something like “I am unavailable until X date. Please contact [colleague] or [colleague] if you need assistance. Thanks!”

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    ObjectiveApplies ToProcedureSetting Up a Holiday ScheduleManaging Holiday Schedule RulesManage Auto Attendant Holiday GreetingsRecording Special Holiday GreetingsUploading Special Holiday GreetingsForwarding Calls to an Announcement-Only Greeting ObjectiveApplies ToProcedureSetting Up a Holiday ScheduleManaging Holiday Schedule RulesManage Auto Attendant Holiday GreetingsRecording Special Holiday GreetingsUploading Special Holiday GreetingsForwarding Calls to an Announcement-Only Greeting Note: To set up a holiday schedule for your Auto Attendant in Account Manager, the legacy version of 8x8 Admin Console, click here.

    I don’t think OP meant condescending to the person’s teammates so much as condescending to the reader. The person over-explains each option and I can see how it would read as ‘wow, you are really dumb and obviously need some handholding to figure out simple decision-making!’ That likely wasn’t the intent, I understand, but I get why people might take it that way.
    For those of you arguing that entrepreneurs and salespeople must always be available, I present to you Exhibit A. While this is specific to Yesware (and you should check out their other OOO examples), it's easy enough to tweak to fit your industry.

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    I emailed this person 3 times and never got a response. Thankfully they weren’t upset when we moved forward without their input.

    A ‘Type A’ who can’t ever fully switch-off from work… at least they’re honest about it!
    I work for a hospital, in a role unrelated to patient care. My first out of the office message was just my name and department. After a series of increasingly plaintive messages one evening, I added, “If you are calling about patient care, you have the wrong number.”

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    The other being I did it once at my current job, pointed them to my boss, and he called me every time someone reached out to him. It was SUPER annoying, because not a single thing was time sensitive or really even remotely important, and if I hadn’t given a contact person they would have just waited. But I’m really the only person that does that I do, so when I’m gone, they just have to wait. :shrug:

    I hope you enjoyed our list of best office closed for holiday message templates that will get you through the season.
    Thank you for your msg. I am currently out of the office and will not return until November 10th.

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    If you scroll down, towards the bottom you'll find a section called Vacation Responder. There, tick Vacation Responder On and fill in the dates for when you want any received emails to be replied to with the automatic response.

    Hope you all are fine and doing well. As we know that the festive season is arriving and we all are looking forward to the holidays. These holidays will allow us all to enjoy the great season and have some amazing time with family and friends. This email is to inform you [all] that the office will be closed for [X] days from [DATE] to [DATE] due to the coming festive season. Our premises will remain closed for normal business from [start date] up to and including [last date]. We will start working on normal days from [DATE] and all the business practices will resume on [re-opening date]. If you have any queries related to the closure period please do not hesitate to contact me. Happy Holidays!
    › Url: https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/technology/communication-etiquette/out-of-office-message Go Now

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If your email client allows it, you could always just use an image to express your out-office sentiment, like this one. After all, they say that a picture is worth a thousand words — and visual content is still essential to successful marketing.

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I worked with a guy years ago who would update his voicemail greeting literally every time he left the office.

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