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Total and utter cringe! Sounds like something a cheeky 11th grader would think is the epitome of word smithing. If someone sent this out at my work everyone would make fun of them and HR would make them change the message.

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You can then come up with a subject and write your text, explaining that you are out of office or unavailable.
Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the store on holidays, with no access to email. I will be returning on (insert date). .

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(Obviously, it wouldn’t fly in all cultures, but I do think this should be more normalised.)
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It is important to understand that your auto-response message can go to anybody, even your top management people. Try to avoid any embarrassment by taking the time to proofread the message.
Here’s my pet peeve: OOOs that specifically state the person “won’t have access to email.” It contributes to this pervasive idea that an employee who might technically be ABLE to check her work email while OOO better have a damn good reason why she won’t be doing so. Which calls back to the reason someone’s OOO is no one else’s business. Whether you’re OOO because you’re on your honeymoon, having your gall bladder removed, or robbing a bank, OOO should automatically imply unavailability for work stuff. Full stop.

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Hello, you have reached [Company Name]. To continue in English, press 1, for Spanish, press 2. (Wait for customer to enter an option.) You’ve reached the main menu. To reach a staff member by name, please press 1. For sales inquiries, press 2. For technical support, press 3. To place a purchase order, press 4. For accounting, press 5. To find a store location near you, please press 6. Press 0 to speak with a representative. 4. Product-Focused

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    A Day in the Life of an Autoresponder. Digital marketing guru Ann Handley has become legendary for her humorous out of office responses. Getting an auto-reply is by definition impersonal, but Ann turns a cold response into a friendly conversation through some clever personification, while also promoting the event she’s attending.

    But perhaps we have it all wrong, and are simply enslaving ourselves further to technology by toiling over OOOs that are personality-packed, marketing-friendly perfection. Maybe we need to be altogether more standoffish if we want to make our OOOs really work for us? NYU Professor Meredith Broussard, who’s the author of Artificial Unintelligence: How Computers Misunderstand the World, takes the inspiration for her OOO from US writer, poet and children’s author E.B. White, who once turned down an invitation from President Eisenhower with the words “I must decline, for secret reasons”. Accordingly, Broussard’s OOO reads simply: “I am out of the office, for secret reasons.”
    Generally, people will indicate that they will reply to the email when they return.

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    I no longer work at this company due to the misalignment with advertised company values and actual practice.

    The only thing I add to that boilerplate is if I’m working but mostly unavailable.
    I’m mostly back in my actual office now, but I went with “away from my computer between X and Z” a couple of times and just straight up “I am on annual leave between X and Z” a couple of times.

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    1. Out of Office Template #1 For the Person Who Works at a Traditional Company. Hello, Thank you for your email, I’m currently offline until [date]. I’ll reply to your message promptly when I return.

    I say I’m off-duty, or in non-working status, but I come from a DOD background. I no longer like to say out of the office. Unavailable is good too.
    Q. If there’s a snowstorm during winter break, will sidewalks and parking lots be cleared?

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    There’s nothing awful or offensive about this message, but it’s also not very good. Yes, it provides the courtesy of letting the sender nominally know that you’re going to be slower than usual to respond. That’s nice. The problem is in this bit: “may be slow to respond to email.” Another popular variation: “might be slower than usual to respond.”

    If you’re leaving a company for good, use your favourite book or film to make someone smile – like ‘Master gave Dobby a sock… Dobby is a free elf’ or ‘Hasta la vista, baby’... but this type of message really depends on the kind of impression you want to leave them with and who the message will go out to. Don’t forget, you might need them for references! Traditional offices no longer cater for modern business needs and provide a very limited service offering. In consequence, businesses have slowly been making the transition to more flexible working arrangements, such as employees working remotely part-time or benefitting from flexi-hours. We... 7 ways to make someone’s day at work while social distancing
    Remember to make sure your auto-reply has a limit to how often it sends replies to any one address. If they reply to every single email they recieve, they can cause problems: https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/420oan/companywide_email_30000_employees_autoresponders/ I actually had that happen while I was on vaca, a travel agency e-mailed me with an update about my vacation from a no-reply mail box and triggered my auto reply, which triggered their “This is not a monitored mailbox” auto reply to the tune of 80,000 messages in my mailbox. It completely filled up my “available” space, so everytime I logged in and thought I had them cleared out, more would pour in. It took DAYS to delete all of them.

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This OoO has to be in the tech sector. I can see something like this as an (internal only) OoO at my workplace. I actually kinda love it. Yes it’s wordy but it also makes the recipient take a beat and consider the importance of their issue and where to go if needed. It will also cut down on interruptions to the “catch-all” person in the standard OoO, which is generally the Admin. I have always hated being the go-to on people’s OoOs. I spent more time trying to find info on what Urgent Emailer insisted was URGENT than I did doing any actual work. And the urgency was never really necessary.

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Gotta go, my fingers are frostbitten. If you really need me, either get a shovel and dig me out of here, or reach out to my colleague Anna — who’s not frozen under snow with frostbitten fingers — at [email protected]

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