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This is the dream. If I could do this, I would! I hate voicemails (and the phone in general) so, so much!

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Each time McClure makes an appearance in these out-of-office messages, he “speaks” on behalf of my colleague and alludes to the previous auto-responses in which he starred. It’s a mild form of self-deprecating humor — as if to say, “I know, I’m out of the office again” — made only funnier by the made-up teaser title included in the last line.
Pro tip: The first works well for both voicemail greetings and email responders, while the next two are most appropriate for emails. .

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It got bad enough that others began begging someone to cull the list. Reply all, of course (thankfully it didn’t turn into an explosion of replies all). Someone finally did remove the email from the list.
When we have people go on maternity leave we normally arrange with them for mail to be forwarded directly to the person covering their leave, (but I’m in the UK so normally they will be out for 6-12 months)

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Our offices are closed until [date]. If it’s something you need urgent assistance with, contact [Name] on [phone number] or [Email] Hello! Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office. We have closed for [holiday name]. I will be returning on [date]. If you require immediate assistance, you may reach me at – [mobile number]. Thanks!
LOL if I got the math/physics one I’d do the small amount of work to just to call them.

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Oct 29, 2019 · If you want to give a toast to all your awesome employees this Thanksgiving, consider throwing an office celebration to show your appreciation. Because Thanksgiving is as much about the festivities as giving thanks, we think the big day should be filled with everything from acts of generosity to games and delicious catering.

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From 20th till 31st of July I will be out of the office with limited access to my email.

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    Completely agree. I have also recently have seen multiple out of office messages that say something along the lines of, “Please be aware that I may be slow to respond to emails today.” If it’s that time-sensitive, why is it an email? Asynchronous communication tools shouldn’t be smashed into the roles of real-time ones, and vice versa.

    I do typically come back to hundreds of emails, and I prioritize what to read – things from my boss/leadership are first, followed by communication from my direct reports. I also sort them by conversation thread and read the end of them first, which reduces the burden.
    Yeah this sort of chain is why we got an out of office address for each department. It went to the managers who were never all off at the same time.

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    Season’s Greetings! It’s my favorite time of year, which means I’m currently out of the office chugging mugs of cocoa, stuffing my face with cookies, and attempting to fulfill my life-long goal of memorizing every single line of [FAVORITE HOLIDAY MOVIE]. I’ll be back in front of my computer on [DATE] and will respond to your message at that time. If you need immediate assistance, please send an email to [NAME] at [EMAIL] so that the other elves in this workshop can help you out. Happy ho-ho-holidays!

    For non-urgent inquiries during my absence, you can contact [Name] at [email] or [phone number], and they will be happy to assist.
    “I’ve been whisked away by angry looking men in suits and taken to a small room with one light, a little water and a laptop. I’ve been told to write. I think these men are from my publisher. I’m hoping to be released on Thursday so I can start to responding to emails again.”

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    I say “as soon as possible,” which to me means “as soon as possible after I get back to the office, make myself a coffee, throw out the milk I forgot in the fridge, chat with my colleagues a bit, check in with my boss, and triage all the new emails and VMs that came in while I was away.”

    Setting up an out of office message is quite simple. It can be set using the auto-reply function of your mail provider or program – just don’t forget to turn it off when you return!
    Hi, I am currently in [COUNTRY]. My inbox didn’t join me on this trip, so I’ll be sure to answer your message as soon as I return stateside on [DAY OF WEEK], [DATE]. If your matter is urgent, please contact [EMAIL]. Thanks and happy holidays!

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    The best voicemail greeting I’ve ever encountered went like this: “If you’re hearing this message, please hang up and send me a text. I haven’t checked my voicemail since 2010.” And true to form, the mailbox was full and not accepting messages at that time. I appreciated her honesty!
    Usually also right before a deadline, after ignoring warnings about said deadline for 3 weeks.

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Our office will remain closed until the end of this week for Thanksgiving Holidays. We assure you that all your emails will be answered as soon as we return to the office. Happy Thanksgiving!

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It is absolutely no one’s business why you are out! “Extended leave” is more than sufficient.

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Hi, I’m out of the office with no access to email until [MM/DD]. If your request is urgent, you can contact [email] for assistance. Otherwise, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible when I return. While you wait, subscribe to our fantastic newsletter[link]. Get actionable tips once per week geared toward helping you grow your business.

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