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Ha reminds me of an admin here once who would leave like 10 bullet points on who to contact for what. We got a kick out of the point that was “for catering emergencies…contact…”.

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I’m currently out of the office for the holidays. While you are reading this response, I am probably: Trying not to laugh at my [relative’s] corny jokes Trying not to get pissed at my [relative] asking me why I still don’t have a boy/girlfriend Attempting to explain my career to my [relative] for the 800th time Trying not to get hungry (I’m probably busy stuffing my face with cookies)
After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship. .

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Mike Vardy is a writer, speaker, productivity strategist, and founder of Productivityist. He is the author of The Front Nine: How to Start the Year You Want Anytime You Want, The Productivityist Playbook, and TimeCrafting: A Better Way to Get the Right Things Done, coming soon from Mango Publishing.
I ALWAYS forget to leave a voicemail response with the same info above! Don't be like me.

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The science fiction writer John Scalzi says “The failure mode of clever is asshole,” which seems to apply here.
Mine says something along the lines of “I’m currently away from my desk, and will be back online on Monday, 7 July…” and (if it’s a longer period and not just the next working day) perhaps also something like “If your enquiry is urgent, please resend to…” so someone else can deal with it.

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And describing their boss as elusive….taken in context with the rest of the message…seems a bit of an attempt to say, “I run this ship solo so good luck with getting them to “help”, lol”

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    That’s weird. I’m technically teleworking almost all the time (our office doesn’t really have the space to fit us all in anyway) and I’m next to my computer nearly the whole day…

    I’ve run into the “no voicemail” thing at a few businesses where phone was the main mode of contact too, and it was hugely frustrating. You call your doctor to ask about, say, a billing issue, and it turns out they’re closed, but then it just says the office hours and “goodbye *click*”. Seriously? Sorry, /end rant.
    I think there must have been a discussion about this here in December, because when I recently came to set my OoO recently there was some previous wording along the lines of “I will be spending time with my family during the festive season and will not be checking my email until (date)”. I’m annoyed with myself for deleting it without saving it somewhere, because it was much better worded than that and I’d like to be able to use it again!

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    I will always assume it is an inability to interact in an adult fashion with the world of technology. There is no good reason to avoid voicemails so aggressively – those that are doing so should probably be seeking therapy to overcome their issues with technology and/or the human voice. A lot of us process text faster and more accurately than speech, especially poor-audio-quality speech recorded by someone who didn’t bother to leave all the relevant information. Most voice mails are bad.

    Dr. Ayoade Oyedotun is the co-founder of Afrimash - An Online Shopping Site for Agricultural Items. His daily work encompasses customer service, sales and marketing, human capital management, and business operations management. He is passionate about working smarter using the Internet technology.
    Of course the people on my project never use the calendar for work trips. I don’t find out that someone is on travel until I get the OOO autoreply. Weirdly, everyone puts their personal leave on the calendar and includes the reason, especially doctor visits. I don’t need to know why you are absent.

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    I no longer work at this company due to the misalignment with advertised company values and actual practice.

    I say I am “away from my desk”, or “unavailable”. To indicate I am working, “I will be at my desk from xhour to yhour on xday”.
    In general, because of my position (C suite) my OOO messages are boring and predictable. I’m out from xx date to xx date. If you need help in my absence, please contact xyz person. Otherwise, I will reply to your email upon my return. blah blah blah

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    Voicemail is also horrible for non-native speakers. I’m reasonably fluent in German but have to listen to voicemails at least 3 times to get everything. Why people can’t just type a text message is beyond me.

    If you are re-using the existing message from the past, make sure you update the dates so that your clients know when you will be available again. For a general out-of-office message, it is vital to include the office timings.
    I am currently out of the office and will be back to work on (insert date). If something urgent comes up, you can let me know by emailing me with the word “URGENT” in your email title and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

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My voicemail is set up to forward to my email. I did this years ago, way before the Late Unpleasantness. And it’s perfect for working remotely. (I have trained my students to use email. My colleagues hate voicemail too, so we use email and gchat. Or walk down the hall when we’re live and in person)

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Website: https://futureofworking.com/25-best-office-closed-for-holiday-message-templates/

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I struggle with naming a contact too. My current job doesn’t really have emergencies, so while my second in command could handle stuff I normally would, should she have to? Also, 98% of the people that would get my OOO would know who to go to anyway if they actually needed something urgent. I hate to make someone else’s life harder for my own convenience when it’s not even needed.

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