I used to know someone who had a snarky message about how “if this is an emergency, there are no actual emergencies in my field,” and then encouraged someone to Google for “goats in trees” and calm down. Yes, she was allowed do that in her office.
I think the problem is that “at your earliest convenience” is a formulaic convention that uses explicit, almost exaggerated politeness to basically issue a stern direction, meaning “as soon as you possibly can”. When you turn it into “at my earliest convenience” it’s unclear if you mean “whenever it’s convenient for me to get to it” (what the words say) or “as soon as I possibly can” (what the meaning of the formulaic original is). Or else it sounds like you didn’t quite understand how “at your earliest convenience” works.
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I like funny OOO – but I am a bad offender regarding these and may slightly overshare. I recently had to be in and out for eye surgery and this was mine:
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Of course, I had one POTENTIAL cient who got the “I’m in court and can’t call you back” repeatedly calling and demanding to know why I wasn’t calling him back. Like “I;m IN COURT DUDE. The JUDGE takes precedence over you.” He really expected me to tell the judge to take a recesss so I could call him back. I eventually got back to him with an email “I think you might be better off with another attorney.”
Your email is important to me and I will respond when I return to my desk. If you require immediate assistance, please contact [Alternate Name] at [alternate email].
Ha! Maybe she was short-circuiting someone who would send an email and then come over to her desk 5 minutes later to “see if you got my email.”
We’ve all been there. A balmy evening beckons and across the street a crowd is already spilling from the pub, fanning out across the pavement in summer dresses and rolled-up shirt sleeves. But as you frantically try to clear your desk for the weekend, every email you send prompts a suspiciously swift reply. Yes, it’s the dreaded out-of-office auto-response, set to tauntingly remind you of a world of leisure while simultaneously pushing it further from your reach.
If your phone system allows employees to receive external calls at their desks, instruct them to record a "closed for the holidays" message or "out of office" voicemail greeting that gives callers essential details about the closing.
Some people can try to contact you again and again if they think you might be available at some time. If your colleagues know that they are on a personal vacation, they are less likely to attempt to contact you. The details of the person who can assist the caller when you are not available.
But it seems a bit too chock full of dismissive, thinky veiled put-downs really. I wouldn’t want to work for someone would lump the people who work for them as competent humans (oh-em-gee, thanks), is that the best they can do to describe people? Oh wait….they look out for her (is she a princess) and each other (should I start applauding now?). No one needs to call me or anyone else a rock star, best teapot decorator in the multiverse, or amazing humans all the time but the best she could crank out was competent + humans. I get the attempt to be witty but it’s really sad that she isn’t more generous.
I cancelled it at the end of the trial period and they asked me why so they could improve their services. I surprised myself by bursting out, “messages, messages, messages! I cannot take it anymore!
Thankfully, setting this up in Gmail is easy to do and only takes a few minutes. Here are step-by-step instructions for setting your out-of-office message, plus some helpful examples you can steal for your own use:
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It is absolutely no one’s business why you are out! “Extended leave” is more than sufficient.
Jul 30, 2018 · But he says for junior staff members, who deal with clients they know, a funny out-of-office can "be a good marketing tool". Mr McFarlane's OOO reads: "I am on annual leave until dd/mm/yyyy.