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Every holiday, we customize our voicemail for relevance to the theme and season. This Thanksgiving, the message is this: “Thank you for calling. We are currently closed in observance of Thanksgiving. We’re unable to attend your call today, but we promise to get back to you if you would kindly leave your name and contact details on record.

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Don’t leave messages that come in outside of business hours hanging. Instead, let them know when they can expect a response. You’ve reached Maggie at HealthCorps. Our business hours are 8-5 EST and I am currently OOO. I will get back to you within the next business day, thanks!
Unfortunately, literally every single thing in the world is an emergency in my office :( .

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A standard OOO responder email simply needs to inform the sender that you are out of the office and when to expect a response. Like this: Hi there, Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office until [date] and will have limited access to my email. If you require immediate assistance for any urgent matters, please contact [name] at [email] or [phone] in my absence. Best,
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In general, because of my position (C suite) my OOO messages are boring and predictable. I’m out from xx date to xx date. If you need help in my absence, please contact xyz person. Otherwise, I will reply to your email upon my return. blah blah blah

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Dude, my brain is not friends with my ears. It’s not psychological, my brain’s just less reliable than Siri at transcribing your voicemail. No one wants me calling them back explaining that I don’t handle the otter scriptorium inks when really they wanted a chocolate teapot.

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I’m currently out of the office, enjoying some peanuts and Cracker Jacks with my family. Can you guess where I am? That’s okay, you’re busy.

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    I once worked with a guy whose out of office reply stated that he was out at an interview, and whether or not he returned depended on how the interview went. He returned, so I guess it didn’t go THAT well.

    Until I’m back at the office, here are the links to my social media: [FACEBOOK LINK] [TWITTER LINK] [INSTAGRAM LINK]
    4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."

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    I feel this so hard! I am 14 days away from my PCS (permanent change of station), and will be on leave for a month. I’ve been drafting my OOO multiple times, not just out of a desire to edit but because it reminds me that I am LEAVING my current terrible office.
    Exactly. It doesn’t matter if I’m sitting on the beach, on my couch, or in a hospital bed–I’m not reachable and you’re gonna have to wait until I get back or contact someone else.

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    Which to my mind lets people know when I’m back and that I will get back to them after that date, as well as who to contact for more urgent stuff. But every time, Wakeen gets teapot questions because people apparently can’t be bothered to finish reading and they both get questions on stuff that is not due for weeks after I return.
    Voice mail is a strictly worse medium than almost any alternative. You don’t get the opportunity to converse and ask questions back and forth like you do with a phone call; you can’t extract information efficiently from the message like you can with an email (the old “ugh, I have to listen to this entire message over again just to check one thing he said at the end” scenario).

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    I’ll return on [date] or after I watch [favourite holiday movie] one too many times (whichever comes first)—and will respond to your message at that time.

    Apparently, people receiving such a notification rarely get angry. "The response is basically 99% positive, because everybody says, 'That's a real nice thing, I would love to have that too,'" Daimler spokesman Oliver Wihofszki told BBC Radio 4's Today programme. Holiday envy has been replaced by corporate email policy envy.
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In spite of your best efforts to notify people ahead of time, not everyone will get the notification that you're going to be shut down. Make sure that you: Post signs about the shutdown and when you will be back Change your voicemail message and have a plan for what to do if your voicemail is full: will it notify you? Is there an alternate number to call? Put together an "out of office" email that lets people who attempt to contact you know when you will be back Make sure you have a call tree for emergencies, and that everyone knows who he or she will be responsible for calling in the event of an emergency

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This is the dream. If I could do this, I would! I hate voicemails (and the phone in general) so, so much!

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Agreed, the whole quirky-cute thibg annoys me, but human drives me up the wall. I cant articulate what about it grates me.

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A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction.

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