I recently described myself as being “out of the virtual office.” Away from the virtual office” would probably have been even more precise. I think whatever you say, people will understand what you mean.
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."

Depending on your idea of holidays as no-business time of the year, you may decide to leave at least one communication channel open, or provide additional information in case of urgent inquiries. In any case, you can add the following information to the mix: You can provide your mobile number, while noting that it can be used only in exceptional situations You can leave contact information of a person that will handle correspondence in your absence You can inform your customers that you will only check emails with “URGENT” in their subject
But I'm someone who has co-workers in almost every time zone, on almost every continent, and in almost every geographic region, and I simply can't imagine using most of these examples with co-workers in, say, South Korea or Japan or Nicaragua. Like, the account manager who reaches out to me for help accessing a particular system in Seoul doesn't need my personal story about why I'm taking time off and all the fun (or, for that matter, not fun) things that I'll be doing — they need help gaining access to [system] in order to complete the job tasks that have been assigned to them. If I am not available to help them, they need to know who can, and if there just *isn't* anyone else who can perform this task, they need to know when I will be able to.