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President Eisenhower signing HR7786, changing Armistice Day to Veterans Day. From left: Alvin J. King, Wayne Richards, Arthur J. Connell, John T. Nation, Edward Rees, Richard L. Trombla, Howard W. Watts

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Huh. This is a rare column from you that I disagree with almost entirely. I guess to start with what I think you get right, there's no need to apologize for being out of office, and no one should feel obligated to deal with anything other than a legitimate emergency (which are, in most fields, truly rare) while on vacation or while taking time off.
Note that the poaching email does not have any other contact details other than the leaver's - this is to try and funnel all enquiries to the leaver as part of the poaching plan! More tips here. .

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I do this too! Depending on how busy my inbox is that day, I’ll also set it to start around 4:30 pm my last day in the office before going on vacation. I have a lot of people that email me at 4:56 expecting to be #1 on my list the next morning so I try to catch them that way.
I’m the same. I don’t find it condescending, it’s kinda eye-rolly but also kinda charming! I get why it could be annoying if you need info quickly. But really, why not inject a little silliness into boilerplate messages like this, as long as it’s not disrespectful or really out of step with your field culture?

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If you’ve written an out-of-office message before, you’ll surely know some of the basics. For the most part, they still apply during the pandemic, with a few additional considerations. Here’s a quick overview of what you should keep in mind as you compose your autoreply these days:
I’m extremely busy watching Home Alone, Die Hard, and the 1994 Ninja Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas Special on repeat until the new year.

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The problem with that is people just don’t look at your signature. Whereas they are reasonably likely to notice the OOO message in the email subject header.

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    11) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

    This is so funny to be because I would chuckle getting those! You have personal context which is how you know that there is an aggeressive/accusatory tone….but without that context I would interpret these as boundaried and light-hearted. (With the exception of the ‘momtears’ one, that would feel overly personal to me.)
    PS: We love our downtime and here at HAR, we're big believers everyone needs a vacay from work. Yes, even you—the social media junkies, the workaholics, the entrepreneurial diehards who accidentally (or "accidentally") take their smartphone into the shower.

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    After I tweeted this example, dozens of people sent me examples of OOO messages they’d set or particularly good examples they’d seen in the wild. One example from a boss (via a TikTok) who offers emailers a decision tree of sorts. “Option 1.) Wait it out. Ask yourself, ‘is this urgent and important?’ If not, take a beat…you and I will be better off with this expectation set now,” the email begins. This one stands out because it’s extremely detailed, manages expectations and also offers who to contact in different situations. It models good behavior of taking time off, but also gives the original sender a variety of option. Most importantly, the responder forces the original sender to assess whether this is actually an urgent request.

    I can just about see having two OOOs: one for the actual leave time, and one for the first day you are back in the office, so people are aware you are digging yourself out of the emails and to please call or IM if it is time-sensitive.
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    This message is really long. I’d probably just hit delete and try to get in touch with someone else.

    I regret to say that I am currently out of the office due to vacation. During vacations, I will have limited access to email and won’t be able to respond to you timely. I will be having my laptop and Android phone with me and try my best to respond to any urgent email. If you feel that your query is urgent, and you need a quick response to send me an email on [Email].I am leaving behind my assistant whose name is Lewis. You may ask him anything regarding the official work otherwise I will respond by email for the time when I come.
    Hello, Happy holidays! Thank you for your email; we are currently closed for the Easter holidays. It won’t be possible to respond to our email as I have limited access to the internet. But once I am back I will respond as quickly as usual. Kind Regards,

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    I take advantage of the ability to send different OOO messages to internal or external addresses. Internal addresses get a couple of people to contact if it’s urgent, usually my direct report and my backup person, since between them they can cover pretty much everything I do, or at least they’ll know who can. External addresses get a more general notice: “I am temporarily out of the office. If your message is regarding the Llama Care project and requires a prompt response from our Llama Grooming Team, please make sure that [email protected] is one of the recipients of your message.” Probably not the most elegant phrasing, but we have a distribution list for this very reason. Even requests that they know only I handle are supposed to go to the LG list.

    Skip the "Greetings," "Salutations," "Dear sir/madam." These are far too stuffy and robotic. Instead, start off your response with a simple "Hi" or Hello."
    I’ve seen that from vendors. Sorry, you’re not the only shop in town and if you can’t be bothered I’m using my power of my dollar and noping away from your company.

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Don’t be afraid to use a pop cultural reference that the audience would recognize. Instead of bemoaning your absence, they’ll have something fun and familiar to laugh at.

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