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Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

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There's no better feeling than Christmas approaching, but how do you achieve the perfect holiday... Get Your Office Into the Festive Spirit
I wouldn’t be offended or consider saying anything to anyone who included this in their out of office message, but even as someone who is in a religion that forbids use of electronics on most holidays, I still think this message is 1) TMI; 2) doesn’t convey what it needs to convey unless you are explaining that you don’t use electronics during holidays, in which case you can just include that you won’t be checking email without including the religious explanation; 3) would come across to me as inclusion of personal information I don’t need, which would therefore strike an unprofessional tone,and I wouldn’t understand why you felt the need to include that info. How about “I’m out of the office without access to internet or email until (date). If you need assistance before this date, please contact…” Like I said, I think your colleagues are overreacting, but in general I would advise to leave all personal information out of your auto-reply — vacation, medical leave, religious observance, etc. — people do not need to know why you are out. .

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Even though you're not actually responding to the email, you still need to mind your Ps and Qs. After your greeting, add "Thanks for your email."
Keeping It Real. I am currently out of the office on vacation. I know I’m supposed to say that I’ll have limited access to email and won’t be able to respond until I return, but that’s not true.

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It’s my favorite time of year, which means I’m currently out of the office chugging mugs of choco, stuffing my face with fruit salads and cakes, and attempting to fulfill my lifelong goal of memorizing every single line of [your favorite holiday movie].
Now, make sure you take care of the additional settings for DND and turn off “Scheduled.” Make sure the phone can set on DND mode “Always,” otherwise you can expect some calls while the phone is not locked, which may ruin your vacation.

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Please note that all company offices will be closed [date] to [date]. We will reopen [date], and close again for [date] and [date]. We wish you all the warmest of holiday cheer!

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I managed to get through 9-month contract roles at two different workplaces without ever setting up voicemail. Even though they were not phone-oriented workplaces I’m a little surprised I got away with that! Interestingly, in all that time only one person ever noticed and said something.

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Check your insurance is up to date and covers the holiday periodMake sure you have sufficient funds in your business account to cover any regular payments for salaries and other billsClarify with staff their exact leave dates and note themSend out your invoices to clientsPay your supplier invoicesSettle your finances and pays
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Website: https://futureofworking.com/25-out-of-the-office-message-examples-for-holidays/

Website: https://www.openphone.co/blog/21-professional-voicemail-greeting-examples/
Yeah, I do think some are pretty funny (eg tan lines) and some are not so terrible, but I honestly think she took them incredibly seriously and wasn’t trying to make her colleagues laugh as much as just ….. put out an air of “look how personable and authentic I am”. She also lamented that other people’s OOOs were “rigid” and why couldn’t people have fun?! Which again, sounds not so bad but was someone who would regularly ask prying inappropriate personal questions, so it came across less like “let’s loosen up” and more like “why won’t people tell me the specifics of why they’re off today, because I deserve to know”.
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So, here are seven various templates you can use. Feel free to copy and paste them, but it is highly encouraged to add something of yourself into these templates (I mean, tweak them according to your personality).

Agreed. Every time you are in a meeting is overkill. For some people they are never not in meetings.
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If it’s not that infinite loop of autoreply hell, you get the “I will not be reading or responding to any email sent during this time. Please resend your request after August 1st.” dismissal.
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how can i record voicemail message

I’m out of town. I’m looking forward to connecting with you when I return. If you’re getting this note, it means that I’ve received your email. (Thank you!) I’ll respond to your note as soon as I can. In the meantime, here’s a list of five questions that I get asked often. I’ve included brief answers to each one below. Take a peek. You might find the answer that you’re looking for—right away! [Include brief FAQs here] I hope those FAQs were helpful. Don’t worry, though—even if your question was one of the questions listed above, I will still send a personal response to your note as quickly as I can, just to make sure that your question or problem has been completely resolved. Talk to you soon!

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Anything worded like Option 1 would never fly at my workplace, exactly because of this. I have colleagues who complain to upper management if their non-urgent tech support questions (that a whole troubleshooting website already answers) don’t get an answer from me or my boss within half a day. And oh, did I mention our job is not actually tech support?