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i am 100 percent in favor of using email signatures and out of office messages to be more blunt about how you want other people to use/respect your time. from this: https://t.co/AkCrvVFVW0 https://t.co/on4YIpN7nB

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I think humor is fine (the hard-to-misunderstand kind), but definitely less than 100 words of it. “I’m out of the office returning Thursday June 10th. Please contact (shared mailbox email address) for support or call (person name) if the matter is urgent.”
1.) Herzlich willkommen bei Mustermann GmbH. Unsere Telefon-Hotline ist über die Festtage nicht besetzt. Genaue Öffnungszeiten erfahren sie auf unser Website unter www.mustermann.de - Wir bedanken uns für Ihr Vertrauen und wünschen Ihnen und Ihren Lieben erholsame Feiertage und ein gutes neues Jahr. .

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I absolutely hate this and it would definitely irritate me if received. I agree with the letter writer that it comes over as condescending and also a bit passive agressive in places. I’m definitely not the audience for this one! Presumably this is an internal only version and the company culture would find this cute / funny.
This used to drive my supervisor crazy, she’d email me “it looks like your OOO is still on.” I had to explain the rationale a few times before she understood.

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If your message is urgent, fear not — we’ll get it addressed. Try doing one of two things: Send me an email at [email protected]. Just kidding. That’s not a real email address. Reach out to my manager at [email protected] in my absence.
The message will be automatically triggered in response to any incoming text received while the away message is turned on. Like this:

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By knowing more about your activities, customers are more likely to trust your company. In turn, your company’s outreach increases.

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17. "Hello! You've gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back."

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    3. Out of Office Template #3 For the Person Who Keeps Things Festive. Season’s greetings! It’s my favorite time of year, which means I’m currently away from my inbox chugging mugs of cocoa, stuffing my face with cookies, and attempting to fulfill my life-long goal of memorizing every single line of [your favorite holiday movie].

    Different companies have different holiday policies. If you're going to be out of office during the holidays, state it in your email. Hello, Thank you for your email! Season's greetings. I can't to your email now as the office is closed for the holidays. I will not be checking my email from December 22 through January 4. If there's an emergency, please contact me at 123-456-7890. Otherwise, I'll respond to your email as soon as possible when I return. Thank you, Jim Parker. 8. Temporary Out-of-Office Email for Attending a Conference If you're going to a business conference, state it out in your out of office email. This type of email is also a great way to show your contacts that you're growing and advancing your job. Hello, Thank you for reaching out! I am out of office attending the National Association of Sale Manager’s conference in Houston, Texas. I'll be checking my emails occasionally, in case of an emergency, please contact my team member, John Doe at [email protected] or 123-456-7890 Regards, Dorian Emmanuel. 9. Out-of-Office with a Promotion
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    Thanks for your email. I will be away from the office until September 13th and will respond as soon as I can.

    Hey, I am currently out of office. If something urgent comes up, you can email [name and email]. Kind regards.
    Thank you for emailing me. I am currently out of the office, with no email access. I will be returning on [DATE]. If you need immediate assistance before then, you may reach me at my mobile [PHONE]. Kind Regards.

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    There ought to be a word - and perhaps there is, in German - for the mix of feelings that accompanies composing and activating a holiday out-of-office message. There's smugness, of course, and a gratifying sense of laying down one's virtual tools after a horribly long shift. But for many of us, these nice feelings are tempered by the knowledge that in two weeks, refreshed but depressed, we will have to trawl through hundreds of emails, many of which will be conference room notifications for meetings about crises that have passed.

    Both your customers and your employees need to know how long your business will be shut down for the holidays. Provide notice well in advance. Depending on the types of services you offer, you may need to start notifying customers as early as a month out. It would be best if you were to provide these important notifications at least two weeks before the holiday shutdown. Employees should also be reminded regularly that the company will not be open during those important days.
    I wouldn’t hate voicemail so much if people were better at leaving voice mails– If your voice mail is much longer than 30 seconds, you’re doing it wrong! If it’s just “It’s Bob, call me back”, you’re also doing it wrong! The voicemail sweet spot is something like this:

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    When I’m out for a day or longer, I like to schedule my out of office message to run all the way up until the start time of my day when I return, since we have people who start emailing three hours or earlier before I even get to my desk. If it’s a Monday and I’ve been out for two weeks and they’re emailing me at 6:30am my time, I want people to know that I’ve been out and will be wading through my inbox and might not answer them right away at 10:01 their time like I typically would.

    A few years ago we had a team meeting, with the typical agenda provided to all by our manager. One of the items was OOO and the manager’s name and dates of her upcoming vacation–of course, to give the team advance notice that she would be out. One of my colleagues did not know the acronym and was at first confused. His read: “Ooooh, Mary is on vacation for these dates and is so excited.” Which I am sure was the case, but . . . no, not exactly. Ha ha.
    Hi. Our office will remain closed for Christmas. We assure you that all your emails will be answered as soon as we return to the office. Merry Christmas!

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“some things are MORE important than work” definitely comes off as aggressive to me. “How DARE you email me when I’m doing something MORE IMPORTANT, and for that matter why aren’t YOU spending time with YOUR family?!”

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Holiday messages are short quotes, where people wish happiness or luck upon others. Employees generally issue these messages before certain festivities as a courtesy or to let recipients know that you care about them. Depending on who the recipient is, your holiday message may be more formal or casual in tone.

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You may not think it, but an auto-attendant is an important part of your business. It is typically the first point of contact with your customers, as they will call your main number with sales inquiries, troubleshooting questions, etc.

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Out of office messages are usually handed to managers, employees, or coworkers as a means of notifying them about your short.

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