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These are Funny Answering Machine tones from the Zedge app. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. When someone wants to leave you a voice message, they’ll hear this Comedy shit.

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In this blog post, we'll cover how to set up several voicemail greetings: a name recording for your voicemail box, a default greeting, and a temporary (for holidays and vacations) greeting.
Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! (your name here) can’t come to the phone right now, because he’s spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera… .

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Voicemail greetings can include any information you’d wish to convey, such as special sales, bargains, alternate phone numbers to use, or your company’s normal working hours.
6.) Herzliche Willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH, aufgrund von Wartungsarbeiten können wir Ihren Anruf leider im Moment nicht persönlich entgegennehmen.Sie können uns aber gerne eine Email an [email protected] schreiben, diese wird durch unser Service-Personal schnellst möglich beantwortet.bitte entschuldigen Sie die vorübergehende Einschränkung! Vielen Dank für Ihr Verständnis

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Do you find yourself putting pen to paper, staring blankly at the wall, searching for just what to say? Well, know that it happens to the best of us. To help you out, we’ve included some voicemail greeting samples for you to look at. Both the 10 formal and 10 informal samples should give you the prompting you need to start crafting your own voicemail script.
When you have finished recording your professional voicemail greeting, you may want to have a close friend call your phone number so you can listen to the outgoing message together. That way, you can get her opinion of the voice message before other callers are able to listen to it. If your friend recommends some changes for you, these should be easy to make, because most systems will allow you to delete your outgoing message and re-record it as many times as you would like. You might also Like Recommended lluviaporos December 5, 2013

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Website: https://community.verizon.com/t5/DROID/How-do-I-set-up-basic-visual-voicemail/td-p/890890

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    Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

    “Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We can’t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. We’re available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you’d like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.” “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.”
    Website: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2lz1zu/what_is_the_most_clever_voicemail_greeting_youve/

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    Just NowSample Phone Scripts. After Hours Voicemail for a Small Business: Thanks for calling (our company). The office is currently closed. Office hours are 9am to 6pm, Eastern Time. Please leave a message at the tone and we'll call you back on the next business day. Thank you. Voicemail Script: You have reached (your business name).

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    (make a little noise in the background). Hi, you’ve reached your friend’s house. He/she isn’t home right now and I took the opportunity to rob it. I was about to steal the machine as well and you called. After the beep, leave your name and number. I will write it on a post-it and leave it on the refrigerator for him/her to see. Oh and one more thing; where did you say you lived?

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    Expand your message with 'We're sorry we couldn't take your call this time.' The inclusion of 'this time' or 'on this occasion' suggests that the voicemail is the exception rather than the rule.

    Tip: If you’re not sure how to leave a good voicemail, check out the most effective voicemail script ever and how to end a voicemail that keeps the sales conversation open.
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    “Good morning. You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name]. Today is [date]. Please leave me a message with your name and contact information. Oh, and here’s my motivational quote of the day: [read quote].”

    The Best Way to Set up a Voicemail Greeting Normally, small business owners use a landline or mobile phone number to manage calls. While it may get the job done, they do not allow you to properly manage business calls or …
    Benefits of a Professional Voicemail GreetingTrained ProfessionalsTechnical SkillsUnderstand Your ObjectiveGrasshopper Voice StudioHow to Write and Submit the Scripts on Voice Studio?Choosing the Voice ActorWrite Your ScriptElements of a Good Business Voicemail GreetingSome Voicemail Greetings When you are a business owner, communication with your current and potential customers is extremely important. However, what if you are not available to take a call or your customers call you after business hours when your business is closed? At such times, having a proper voicemail greeting can create a positive and good impression on the caller. Having a customized voice message instead of a generic, automated one can go a long way in making your customers feel recognized and valued and this will also ensure that they will call again in the future.

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7. MetroPCS. MetroPCS Visual Voicemail is a free Android software launched by MetroPCS for handling and controlling messages of all kinds. This software directly transfers both incoming and outgoing messages to the mailbox.

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Below you can hear 2 individual voicemail greeting examples that we did. For more info about our Voicemail Greeting service please visit the custom phone messages site. https://voxendo.com/audiodemos/text-demos/english/after-hours-greeting-voicemail-greeting/voicemail-greeting-demo-diane.mp3 https://voxendo.com/audiodemos/text-demos/english/after-hours-greeting-voicemail-greeting/voicemail-greeting-demo-rebecca-uk.mp3 Voicemail Greetings are the most used telephone messages. The opening hours should be called and maybe your website and/or email address.

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1. Personal Business Voicemail Greeting. Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever information you need from them.

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