10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.
Before the digital era, he says more than 80 percent of business lines had voice mail. Now, he estimates only a third of office phones have it.”For customers, even the most professional voicemail greeting is impersonal, and may even harm customer experience (millennials, in particular, avoid using voicemail altogether).

Obviously, I need to update it. And if you haven't changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you're likely in the same boat.
Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.