This is the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder press 1 repeatedly. If you have co-dependant ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If your delusional press 7 and the call will be brought back to the mothership. And if you have a fidget disorder, fidget with the hash key until someone picks up.
Want to keep things light and simple while making your callers laugh when they hear your greeting? Serious, monotonous greetings can leave the caller depressed (perhaps, not literally). What I mean to say is, keep the greeting livelier.

Recording professional voicemail greetings is easy but many people find it to be akin to public speaking, and are therefore apprehensive about starting. First of all, lets acknowledge the elephant in the room and just say that nobody in the history of the world enjoys the sound of their voices being played back to them. Once you can accept that, getting a professional voicemail greeting or Auto Attendant menu recorded will be a lot easier. To help you get the right tone and tenor of what you’re trying to communicate over you business voicemail, we’ve put together this handy list of resources for you.
9. After Hours. Creating a separate greeting for closing time can be useful for both you and the client. For an after-hours greeting, say: “Thank you for calling (Business Entity).