Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
-Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-

When you’re at -15 dollars and someone hands you a free donut: “Shit, I can’t afford this, this is free”
For a medical office, call types may include billing, emergencies, appointments, cancellations, etc. 2. Determine How To Best Route Calls The best method of routing your medical office calls will depend on your office size and budget. If you have a small staff, setting up a standard voicemail greeting system may be a more practical approach. For a larger health organization with multiple departments, it makes more sense to route calls to their intended destinations by using an auto attendant. For example, “If you have a question about billing, press 1. If you’d like to schedule an appointment, press 2. If this is a medical emergency, press 0 for an operator.” If you want every caller or patient to experience a professional and compassionate call, you may consider working with a medical office answering service. You can forward calls to an answering service after business hours, on holidays, during overflow, or any other time you may need help answering calls. 3. Draft A Script