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12. “Hello, you’ve reached the Customer Support department at [company name]. We are unable to take your call at the moment. We know your time is valuable so instead of placing you on hold, let us call you back! Please leave your name, phone number, the reason for your call, and two different times that are convenient for you to receive a call back from us. Thank you!” Get a better idea of your caller’s schedule by asking them for a few different times you can call back. Their time is important, too!

A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”
For information about how to update your outgoing message, forward your desk phone to a cell phone, and check voicemails remotely, reference this Knowledge Base article from the EOU IT Department: https://kb.eou.edu/topic/phone