10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.
You can fine-tune this similarly to how companies A/B test their websites, ads, call scripts, and anything else that requires a change. The more elements of a call you look at, the more likely you’ll be able to optimize your voicemail greetings. If you jump right into the greeting without saying “Hello,” go back and make your greeting more personal on the second attempt.

Avoid using ‘please’ more than once, it gets wordy and redundant. The goal is to keep the content as concise as possible, moving callers quickly and seamlessly through the options.
A business voice mail should have several ingredients that inform. Include the name of the person whose extension was dialed, the company’s name and the department. Invite the caller to leave a message; often the caller does not realize she has reached voice mail.