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If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

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7. Website Suggestion. Sometimes people call for things that your website can answer. Direct them to your website with a greeting like: “Hello and thank you for calling (Business Entity).
1. Information: Your business voicemail should provide all the information the caller needs. ... .

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9. Update Your Greeting Frequently. Many of the things that can make your voicemail great, also require that you update it pretty regularly. Information like deals you’re running, when you’re away, and who to contact while you’re out can take your greeting to the next level, but they’re obviously time sensitive.
13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers

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Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.
Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person.

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06Hi, you’ve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.

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3 hours agoHaving a strong voicemail greeting is crucial for your small business. Having a strong voicemail greeting is crucial for your small business.

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    If you’re not going to apologize or sound regretful about it, chances are you will lose on potential prospects. Mean it to your prospects how you are really sorry you can’t assist them at the moment.

    1. State Your Business Name. The first thing your callers should hear is the name of your business or organization. This assures them that they have dialed the right phone number and keeps them on the line.
    › Url: https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/careers/soft-skills/professional-voicemail-greetings/ Go Now

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    2. Hello you’ve reached Matt Grech, I’ll be out of the office for the next few days due to the holidays. Feel free to leave a message, or you can shoot me an email at Matt@GetVoIP if something urgent pops up. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return to the office. Happy holidays!

    Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read Get it now Get it now Download for Later Popular Features Free Meeting Scheduler App Social Media Tools Email Tracking Software Sales Email Automation Ads Software Email Marketing Software Lead Management Software Pipeline Management Tools Sales Email Templates Help Desk Software Free Online Form Builder Free Chatbot Builder Free Live Chat Software Marketing Analytics Free Landing Page Builder Free Tools Website Grader Make My Persona Email Signature Generator Blog Ideas Generator Invoice Template Generator Marketing Plan Generator Free Business Templates Industry Benchmark Data Software Comparisons Library Company About Us Careers Management Team Board of Directors Investor Relations Blog Contact Us Customers Customer Support Join a Local User Group Partners All Partner Programs Solutions Partner Program App Partner Program HubSpot for Startups Affiliate Program Facebook Instagram Youtube Twitter Linkedin Medium
    Our final sample voicemail greeting for business is the one to use when you want to discourage someone from leaving a message, for example, when you are fielding inquiries from job applicants. We hope that you have found these voicemail greetings for …

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    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

    Download and install Slydial onto your phone.Sign up for an account and log into the app.Dial 267-SLYDIAL to connect to the service.Enter the cell number you are trying to reach when prompted.Leave your message.See More....How to access your voicemail box?
    5. You have reached [business name]. All of our attendants are busy helping other customers. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and we’ll return your call as soon as possible. If you’d like to find out about our products and services in the meantime, please visit our website at [business name]. We thank you for your call.

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    If done tastefully, you can promote your products or services on your voicemail greeting without sounding pushy. In fact, it’s a great way to keep customers up-to-date on company events, sales, and other news. Be sure to keep it short and have fun with it.

    And, if you cannot write your own scripts and require some help, for just $175, the Grasshopper team can both script your greeting and record it for you as well. And, the best part is that for customers who have opted for the Max Plan, this service is free.
    11. “Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We can’t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.”

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16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

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OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.

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Here’s a sample voicemail greeting script: “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at [​company]. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your …

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Website: https://www.nysuntimes.com/2021/07/23/50-business-voicemail-greeting-examples/

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