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Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.
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"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
Funny Voicemail Greetings. Composing these types of greetings are fun, but they aren’t applicable for some situations. You may make a funny voicemail greeting for your own personal voicemail box. However, it’s not appropriate for professional or business phones. Here are some humorous examples for you: You have reached [mention your name].

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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.

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Greetings. You’ve reached the office of [Name]. I’m either out of the office or gone for the day. However, your call is extremely import to me, so I’d appreciate it if you’d leave your message, along with your contact information, at the sound of the beep. Thank you for your call.

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You can also set a new PIN when you know your current PIN. Dial *98 from your home phone and enter your current PIN. For settings, press 4 For security options, press 3 To change your PIN, press 1 Enter your new PIN (4-15 digits) To confirm, enter your new PIN again Step 4: Choose a voice mail greeting

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    5.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Puede contactar con nosotros personalmente de lunes a viernes de 7:00h a 18:00h y los sábados de 10:00h a 13:00h. Si quiere realizar un pedido o tiene cualquier pregunta, deje un mensaje con su nombre, número de cliente y número de teléfono. Le devolveremos la llamada lo antes posible. Si lo prefiere, nos puede mandar un correo electrónico en cualquier momento a [email protected]. Muchísimas gracias por su llamada. Hasta pronto.

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    11. "Hi, you've reached [company]. Unfortunately, we're currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP."

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    Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want.

    7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
    Press 3 (Voicemail Preferences) and then press 1 to turn date and time on and off. Turn off the date and time so you don't hear them automatically. When you do need to know, you can press 5 during or after the message. Send group messages

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    10.) Hello, and welcome to John Doe. For technical reasons we can not take your call personally. Thank you for your understanding. We are working very hard on a solution. If you want, you can leave a message on our homepage www.johndoe.de - Thank you and goodbye.

    Good day. You’ve reached the residence of the O’Meara family on 5th and Oak. We regret not being able to attend to your call. However, if you choose to, you may leave your contact information at the tone, and we shall be most happy to return your call as soon as we are able. Thank you for your call. Include the name of the individual, family or business State you are sorry you cannot get to the phone Ask them to leave their contact information behind Thank them for their call Informal Voicemail Greetings
    5.) Welcome to John Doe. Personally you can reach us Monday to Friday from 7am to 6pm and Saturdays from 10am to 1pm. If you want to place an order or have a question, then please leave your name, customer and phone number. We will call you back as soon as possible. You can always send an email to [email protected]. Many thanks for your call - good bye.

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    Before you leave a message, I’d like to ask a question. How can someone keep a dork in suspense? Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you on that one.

    Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message.
    Note that the secretary has asked for the reason for calling so she can prioritize the patients who need the most help. She’s also keeping it short and to the point.

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Using concise and simple words in your scripting helps ensure callers can comprehend what is being said. Although a complete on-hold message can be quite lengthy, it should include concise and to the point single messages. Aim to get each message across in around 35 to 40 words. Remember, what may read great in written word doesn't necessary sound great said out aloud.

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When I was in my 20s, I had an answering machine with a 30 second outgoing message tape. I thought it would be fun to come up with all sorts of cute or funny messages for my friends to hear just before the beep. It got pretty elaborate sometimes, with celebrity impersonations and movie spoofs and other things. I didn't usually get many important phone calls anyway, so I didn't see any harm in being funny for the few people who did call.

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