2. Hello, you have reached the office of [your name]; I will be out of my office starting on [date] and will be returning on [date]. You can call me when I return or leave a brief message. If this is an emergency I can be reached on my cell, which is [your number].
Hi, this is [your name] of [your business]. I’m currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks.
.
Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
Sound benign and businesslike? That's the whole idea. As Karyn-Ruth explains it, "Bill collectors, the IRS, sales personnel, obscene callers and other obnoxious people think they have reached a business, and therefore the wrong number, and hang up."
Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
If you are alright with your prospects reaching out to you after work, then share your contact details will help them to reach out to you. This is not a mandatory technique, but if you believe that you can cater to prospects after your working hours then this technique is great to conduct.
9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
Insurance agents have to deal with large numbers of clients almost all through the year. So, they are extremely busy and cannot take calls of clients. For them resorting to voicemail messages become inevitable. Here is one instance of VOIP phone service for businesses like this:
1. HI, you’ve reached (name). I’m so sorry I can’t pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.
“Hey there, this is [name]. You’ve reached [XYZ company]. Unfortunately, I’m currently away from the office and am traveling in [place]. I won’t be back in the office until [date] and I will get in touch with you then.
3. Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
Website: https://theawesomedaily.com/funny-ways-to-answer-the-phone-hello-we-have-plenty/
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OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.
This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.
Website: http://www.skywriting.net/inspirational/humor/answering_machine_messages.html