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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.

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I can’t answer the phone right now, but if you leave me a message with your name and phone number, I will return your call as soon as possible. You have reached Jim Bucki. I can’t take your call at the moment but please don’t hesitate to leave a message after the tone. I will return your call as soon as I am able.
As I mentioned above, some words like ‘can’t’ are often mispronounced by non-native speakers and it can sound like a swear word! .

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6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.
You can operate your answering system from a remote location using any touch-tone telephone or the handset if it allows that capability. You can check, play, or delete messages, even record a new greeting message when you are away from home. Additionally, you can turn On or Off your answering system from a remote location depending on model.

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Packages start at $50 for studio-quality, professional phone greetings, prompts & messages on hold.
According to Gartner Research, more than two-thirds of companies compete for business today primarily based on customer experience – up from only one-third back in 2010. Knowing this, it should not surprise you that customer-centric companies are 60% more profitable than companies that are not.

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There’s nothing more crucial to your business than the image you create to your customers, community, and your prospects. With a lot of fly by night and home based businesses today, it is more crucial than ever to show your business company in right light and to tell those that make business with you that you’re a trustworthy and credible entity.

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Combine with a Business Intro Message to provide menu options and assist in telephone navigation. As opposed to the passive nature of Messages On Hold, voice prompts are interactive. They are designed to bring out a physical reaction from the caller, a call to action. And because voice prompts are directive, it’s important they’re concise, well written, and recorded by a professional voice artist.

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    A voicemail and voicemail greeting are two different things. A voicemail serves to leave a message and contact information to an individual or business. A voicemail greeting serves to welcome those who call while you are out, encouraging them to leave a message and contact information. A well-crafted voicemail greeting also serves as a tool where one can leave a good first impression.

    For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
    Website: https://classroom.synonym.com/christian-ideas-for-voice-mail-messages-12082608.html

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    Press 3 to skip PIN entry when accessing messages from home. You will still need to enter your password if you check messages away from home. Turn on Skip PIN. Press 1 to change your PIN.

    Responding to voicemails is time-consuming. Fortunately, with the right greeting, you might be able to save yourself some hassle. If you don’t have an auto attendant, you can give callers the information they are looking for with your voicemail greeting. Of course, this means that your greeting may be a little lengthy, but that can work in your favor as callers will only stay on the line to leave a message if they still need assistance.
    7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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    Press 8 to send a reply message directly back to the person who called you. Let's say it's late at night and you don't want to ring the person's phone. Maybe you just don't want to talk right now, but you still want to answer their message. Just press 8 to automatically leave a reply message in that person's voicemail.

    For example, the traditional Irish Christian Blessing "May God grant you many years" makes a lovely message for callers to hear. 4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded."
    You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

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    Your phone system greeting is the first thing callers hear. Set the right tone from the very start with professional greetings.

    Professionally recorded phone messages and greetings are the perfect way to promote and re-enforce your business brand when customers call the business. They will put a professional touch to any message and enhance your business image. Choose between a male or female voice, recorded in the tone best suited to your business. Ideal for Business Intro Messages at the start of the call, Auto Attendant (IVR) prompts, Voicemail greetings such as one for an After-Hours Service, and On-Hold Messages. Incorporate background music for that extra touch.
    1.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Lo sentimos, en estos momentos no hay nadie disponible en nuestras oficinas o está llamando fuera de nuestro horario de trabajo. Por favor, deje un mensaje o envíe un correo electrónico a [email protected]. Gracias por su llamada.

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Recognize Their Need. When someone calls your business, the voicemail should give them a sense of validation. This means that your voicemail should extend gratitude for their interest in your business, or an apology for not being there to answer your call. These two simple courtesies can go a long way in the creation or establishment of client/business trust. Make it Informative for the Caller. Your voicemail must include all the information the customer will need for your particular business. For instance, if you’re a brick and mortar establishment, it’s wise to include your store hours. It’s also a good idea to leave them an alternate way to contact you, especially if it’s after hours. After all, you don’t want to miss just one potential customer. Here are some suggestions for elements to include in your voicemail: Business name Hours (if brick and mortar) Alternate method of contact, such as email Your name

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Company-level calls are usually directed to your general business number. There are occasions when everyone in the office is tied up and unable to pick up calls. It’s important to gather information about the reason for the call so that the right person or team can call them back. These greetings ensure that customers do not feel neglected while also providing assurance that their call will be attended to as soon as possible.

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2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

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