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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.

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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
When recording a personalized voicemail greeting on your office phone your greeting should? .

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From the main menu, select 4 (Mailbox Options), then press 2 (Hands Free and Time Saver Options).
Many busy businesses utilize auto attendant greetings to make a great first impression, however, if your business relies on the personal touch of a live receptionist, it is important to have a plan in place when that position is unstaffed. Make sure your voicemail greeting contains the useful information that your receptionist would normally provide. This could include: location & directions, office hours, website URL, or social media info, as well as any pertinent company information.

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As you can see by reading our article on how to write the best voicemail greetings, they’re a bit more complex than one might imagine. There are important elements that cannot be left out, as to do so could cost you valuable business contacts. We realize this, so have included a selection of more funny, professional, and personal greeting examples, in MS Word and PDF format. By using these voicemail greetings, you’ll be well on your way to craft a greeting that will be pleasant to hear, provide the correct information, as well as requesting the correct information.
Are you a "Gone With the Wind" fan? Then you'll want to copy this one, which Anne S. Kight has been using on her home machine for years. In the background, you hear the swelling overture from GWTW. After a few seconds, a gently accented southern voice says: "As God is my witness, I simply cannot come to the phone right now. So please leave a message, and I'll call you back -- tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"

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3.) Bienvenue chez John Doe. Actuellement, nous ne pouvons pas répondre à votre appel ou vous nous appelez en dehors des heures de bureau. Laissez-nous un message avec votre nom et numéro de téléphone – nous vous appellerons aussi vite que possible. Merci et au revoir.

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When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.

  • funniest answering machine greetings

    Best WishesCelebrations BirthdayCongratulationsHolidaysGet WellLoveSympathyThank You

    12.) Herzliche Willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH. Wir sind Montag bis Freitag von 8 Uhr bis 12.30 Uhr und 13 Uhr bis 16.30 Uhr zu erreichen. Wir können Ihren Anruf derzeit leider nicht persönlich entgegen nehmen. Sie können uns jedoch gerne eine Nachricht hinterlassen. Bitte teilen Sie uns Ihren Namen und Ihre Rufnummer mit.Wir rufen Sie dann zurück.In dringenden Fällen erreichen Sie uns unter folgender Rufnummer 0821 91039- 1211. Vielen Dank.
    Calls overflow to the voicemail box if they can’t be answered during business hours. This may be during unusually busy periods or if there is no one to take the call.

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    Keep it Brief. Time is money in business, so if your voicemail is long, chances are the caller will simply disengage before the cue to leave a message even sounds. Keep your voicemail short. The most should be around 30 seconds, and even that’s pressing it. We’ve grown into a country where our attention span can last only about 10 seconds in some cases, so keep it short, brief and to the point. Persuade and Engage the Caller. If someone calls your business, they already have an intention. It’s the quality of your voicemail that plays a factor if they consider you a company they’d like to deal with. This is your chance to motivate someone to engage in a meaningful conversation with you. If your voicemail is shoddy, chances are they’ll hang up, or lose motivation to continue the call. In other words, your voice mail must engage and entice someone to the point that they care enough to leave you a message.

    It’s imperative for any business owner and/or entrepreneur to have a professional, snappy and appropriate voicemail greeting for their business. Automated greetings will only help current customers stay in touch with you and you will create a great first impression on potential clients.
    Each recording is customised to suit your business requirements. You can choose from a range of tones, voice artists, or create a custom script for your on hold message.

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    800-555-1212Or, you can leave me a message with your name, phone number, and the reason for your call and I will return your call as soon as possible when I return. Thank you for calling. You have reached the office of Jim Smith. I am out of town and will return on Monday, Jan. 3. If this is an emergency, please call my answering service at 1-800-555-1212.

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    Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

    Here are 15 business voicemail greetings to keep your clients and boost your credibility: You have reached [your name] at [your company]. Thank you for calling. Please leave your name, number and a message, and I will get right back to you. You've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm sorry, but I'm temporarily unavailable.
    These are all key areas for clear English Pronunciation. When recordings a voicemail greeting like the one in our sample, it’s essential to “put your best foot forward” (this means to give the best impression possible, or to try your very best). It’s the first impression many people will get of you.

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12.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Puede contactar con nosotros de lunes a viernes de 8:00h a 12:30h y de 13:00h a 16:30h. En estos momentos no podemos atenderle personalmente. Por favor, deje un mensaje con su nombre y número de teléfono y le devolveremos la llamada tan pronto como sea posible. Para casos urgentes puede contactarnos al teléfono 0821 91039- 1211. Muchas gracias.

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Find out WHY a professional voicemail greeting is so important: Why You Must Have a Professional Voicemail Greeting. Hello, thanks for calling (name), I’m unable to answer your call at the moment. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you.

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From the main menu, select 2 to record and send a message directly to another CenturyLink mailbox without ringing their phone. Or, you can even record a message for someone in your household and send it to your own number. (Some limitations may apply depending upon customer phone facilities.) Enter the destination mailbox number or group number, then press # This is the phone number of the person you're sending to. If the person doesn't have CenturyLink voicemail, the system will tell you it can't deliver the message. Enter another destination mailbox number or group number, then press # or just press # Record your message after the tone, then press # Press # to send now, or press 1 to add a delivery option (e.g., 3 for Private, 2 for Urgent, 6 for delivery confirmation.) Shortcuts & time savers

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