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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Here are 5 sample scripts for business voicemail greetings that will make you and your company look personable, knowledgeable, and professional. And here are some sample voicemail greeting scripts for doctors, lawyers, and dentists, in case you're not looking for business greetings.
Personal Greeting. A Personal greeting is a longer individual message recorded by the user and several variations are available depending on the context of the call. The options are a Personal After Hours greeting, a Personal Busy greeting, a Personal Internal greeting, a Personal External greeting. How do you end a voicemail greeting? .

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This is the message that is used in personal physical answering machines and in the network answering machines offered by telephone operators. ORDER YOUR MESSAGES This is the voicemail of the lawyer John Smith, the lawyer can not answer at the moment, leave a message after the tone and you’ll be called back as soon as possible.
If you need more information about our professional voicemail greetings, contact us now and let’s get things started.

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Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/
Standard greeting with your number: "At the tone, please record your message to [your phone number]."

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Yes, you can be charged. This depends on the service. For example, Spectrum’s Voice Residential Services Price Guide charges $3.95 for voicemail.

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Education Details: Business Voicemail Greetings: Top 5 Sample Scripts. By Nate Rand. Business voicemail greetings are underrated. When your customers call your phone system after hours or when your business is closed, they hear your voicemail recording. The voicemail greeting they receive is another opportunity for your company to make a great impression instead

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    › Url: https://www.thebalancesmb.com/temporary-voicemail-greeting-examples-2533547 Go Now

    (855) 976-7457Any of the following sample voicemail messages could make excellent greetings with just a little tweaking. Add a few personal touches using the tips above, and even include an on-hold message so your customers know exactly what’s going on when they call: 1. Hi, this is [name]. I can’t come to the phone right now.
    Education Details: Professional Greetings . When to use a professional greeting: If you don't know the person well, it is best to use Mr., Ms., or Dr. as an appropriate business letter salutation. If you have any doubts about which greeting you should use, err on the side of caution and use the more formal style of address.

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    http://www.ezrasvoice.com/ Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings can easily be created using this blueprint. While all Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings will be uniq

    3. Funny Examples of Voicemail Messages. These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, please leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.
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    10. Escape the Voicemail Box Option. You have reached the voicemail of [person’s name]. If you would like to leave a voicemail, please press 1 and leave your name, number, and a brief message.

    1.“Hi! Thanks for calling [company name/your name]. Please leave a brief message and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day!”
    Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/10-sample-call-center-greeting-scripts

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    When I was in my 20s, I had an answering machine with a 30 second outgoing message tape. I thought it would be fun to come up with all sorts of cute or funny messages for my friends to hear just before the beep. It got pretty elaborate sometimes, with celebrity impersonations and movie spoofs and other things. I didn't usually get many important phone calls anyway, so I didn't see any harm in being funny for the few people who did call.

    When you’re recording an answering machine greeting for your home, or a voicemail greeting, some people like to keep it funny and light. They may record a message together, have one of their young children record, play silly music in the background or create some kind of a joke. While it’s fine to be funny, especially on a home recording, you should probably avoid being crude, particularly if you think children may be calling your home. Telemarketers may use any information given in an answering machine greeting.
    3.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. No momento não podemos atender a sua ligação ou você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Por favor, deixe uma mensagem com seu nome e número de telefone que vamos ligá-lo de volta o mais rápido possível. Obrigado e até breve.

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Simply exercising good manners when it comes to the receipt of voicemail can go a long way for the success of a business. If a company’s voicemail message is “Your call is important to us,” they should live up to those words by treating each voicemail as a high priority.

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3. Department Wide Voicemail Greeting. This voicemail greeting should list the name of the department, the hours of operation or the whereabouts of your personnel, the protocol for following up with the customer, and another way to get in touch with the department.

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“Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.

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Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message."

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