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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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28. Hey, there. You’ve reached [your name]. Please leave me a brief message about the reason you are calling and your contact information. I will call you right back at the earliest opportunity. Have a nice day!
Education Details: Free Pre Recorded Voicemail Messages › See more all of the best education on www.studyeducation.org Business Free Pre Recorded Voicemail Messages › Best Education From www.studyeducation.org Education We provide free recorded voicemail greetings: The best way to greet your callers—and create a stunning im pre ssion—is with a professional, pre … .

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To create or change outgoing voicemail messages for individual extensions or for a Ring Group (multiple extensions).
-Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. BOOM! (not followed by a beep)

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A phone call to your business is often the first encounter your customers and prospects have with your company. If no one is available to take the call, having the best professional voicemail greetings possible is important to leave a great first impression and to ensure that business opportunities don’t slip by.
To use a different greeting you already recorded or switch back to the default greeting: On your Android device, open the Voice app . At the top left, tap Menu Settings. In the Voicemail section, tap Voicemail greeting. Next to the greeting you want to use, tap More Set as active.

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You can ask your admin to change the greeting language for everyone in your organization. Your admin should see this topic for instructions: Change the default language for greetings and emails.

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Website: https://www.holdcom.com/script-samples/voicemail-greeting-sample-scripts/

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    After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.

    For example, the traditional Irish Christian Blessing "May God grant you many years" makes a lovely message for callers to hear. 4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded."
    On this page, we’ve provided some script samples and templates of voicemail greetings and auto attendant messages you can use for your business phone, VOIP service, PBX/PABX system as well as cell/mobile/smart phone greetings. If you need help writing your phone scripts and greetings or want to have your phone recordings professionally recorded by a professional voice talent, contact Macryn

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    Intrado has sales and/or operations in the United States, Canada, Europe, the Middle East, Asia Pacific, Latin America and South America. Intrado is controlled by affiliates of certain funds managed by Apollo Global Management, LLC. For more information, please call 1-800-841-9000.

    As a bonus, here is an example of our own holiday voicemail greeting here at OpenPhone:
    Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.

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    Call your home phone number. Press # to interrupt the greeting, and then enter your PIN. Follow the prompts to listen to your messages. (Note: In some areas, the # key will not interrupt the greeting. Try pressing * or 2 instead.)

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    A phone call to your business is often the first encounter your customers and prospects have with your company. If no one is available to take the call, having the best professional voicemail greetings possible is important to leave a great first impression and to ensure that business opportunities don’t slip by.

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    As a bonus, here is an example of our own holiday voicemail greeting here at OpenPhone:

    3.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Al momento non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata, oppure ci state chiamando fuori dall’orario di lavoro. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio con il vostro nome e numero di telefono – vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Grazie e arrivederci.
    Some people are more interested in recording an answering machine greeting that gives just the bare minimum of information. Such a greeting might be: “You’ve reached 555-5555. Please leave a message and we’ll get back to you soon.” What this salutation may lack in imagination, it may make up for in personal security, especially if you’re getting calls from telemarketers. Note that you don’t give your name, don’t reveal who lives in your home, and don’t say that you’re not at home. Occasionally thieves do call a home to verify the person’s presence at home or lack thereof. You’re essentially not committing to anything but your phone number in this kind of message, and the short message is likely to please cellphone callers. An answering machine greeting for a home business could be used to promote products, such as makeup.

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8. Morgan Freeman Shares His Voice for Voicemail Greetings. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty.

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Education Details: Professional Greetings . When to use a professional greeting: If you don't know the person well, it is best to use Mr., Ms., or Dr. as an appropriate business letter salutation. If you have any doubts about which greeting you should use, err on the side of caution and use the more formal style of address.

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You might call this one Current Events Run Wild: "Hey, this is Sally. I can't come to the phone right now. Kato and I are at McDonald's."

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When you have new voicemail, the Phone tab in the Skype for Business main window displays the number of your messages. See Contact Card opens the caller's contact card, which lists their phone number, email address, office location, and so on. Open Item in Outlook provides more information about the call.

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