Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
12. “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.”
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Here's the problem with recording elaborate joke messages on your answering machine: Your answering machine will become more popular than the person who owns it. Friends would tell total strangers to call my number and listen to the new goofy message. They would become disappointed if I actually answered the call first. I would have to hang up and let the machine pick up just for other people's entertainment. Dozens of people were finally calling my home phone, but few of them wanted to talk to me personally.
Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.
You can also set a new PIN when you know your current PIN. Call your retrieval number from your home phone and enter your current PIN, then follow the system prompts to enter a new PIN. Step 3: Record a name to identify your mailbox Step 4: Choose a voicemail greeting
Voicemail Greetings – outgoing message recordings for after-hours voicemail box and when a call can’t be taken.
Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
Note that the secretary has asked for the reason for calling so she can prioritize the patients who need the most help. She’s also keeping it short and to the point.
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9. “Hey, it’s [your name] at [your company] – thanks for giving me a call! I can’t wait to chat. Just leave your name, number and I’ll call you back as soon as I have the chance. Better yet, send me a text with the best time to reach you and the reason for your call. Looking forward to hearing from you.” Text communication is becoming much more relevant now. Direct your caller to text you in case they have a question you can answer easier via text. Who knows, they might prefer text messages to phone calls too.
I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
-Hello, this is ________. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?
Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
Traditional voicemail services once offered this feature, but visual voicemail (with a visual interface that lets you access messages directly) has mostly eliminated that possibility. If your phone does not have visual voicemail, and you have to call an inbox to hear your messages, you may still be able to use this feature.
12. “Hello, you’ve reached the Customer Support department at [company name]. We are unable to take your call at the moment. We know your time is valuable so instead of placing you on hold, let us call you back! Please leave your name, phone number, the reason for your call, and two different times that are convenient for you to receive a call back from us. Thank you!” Get a better idea of your caller’s schedule by asking them for a few different times you can call back. Their time is important, too!
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