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funniest answering machine greetings

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When I was in my 20s, I had an answering machine with a 30 second outgoing message tape. I thought it would be fun to come up with all sorts of cute or funny messages for my friends to hear just before the beep. It got pretty elaborate sometimes, with celebrity impersonations and movie spoofs and other things. I didn't usually get many important phone calls anyway, so I didn't see any harm in being funny for the few people who did call.
On a psychiatrist's phone: "Please emit verbal response at the auditory stimulus." .

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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
Education Details: business hours greetings. Answer incoming calls during normal hours with a custom phone greeting specific to your business with routing options to particular departments or employees, or just give callers the information they need. after hours voicemail business greetings. Let callers know that your business is closed but their call is still

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36. Hello. You’ve reached the office of [your name] at [your company]. I will be out of the office from [date] to [date]. Please leave your contact information with a brief message, and I will call you back as soon as I have the chance. If you need to speak with someone urgently, please contact [name of colleague] at [email or phone number]. Thanks for calling.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."

funniest answering machine greetings

Save Time by Building Phone Greeting and Voicemail Scripts. Most advanced cloud call center software offer a variety of phone greetings and voicemail types that can be customized according to the needs of your business.. Effective customized greetings are integral to call center success. The greetings and voicemail messages that callers hear when they connect with your call center set the …

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A good voicemail greeting is short and professional, lets people know that you’ll get back to them, and invites callers to continue engaging with a call-to-action. You should also show your personality if you’re in an industry or role that allows that. If your industry is more conservative, however, you’ll want to keep humor and personal touches to a minimum. A greeting Your name Your company A simple explanation for missing the call (e.g. you’re away from the phone or are on holiday) A rough estimate of when you’ll get back to the person An alternative person to reach out to (if you’re out of office) An alternative mode of communication (if you prefer email or text) A call-to-action such as “Leave a message” or “Send me an email at [email protected]

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    A voicemail and voicemail greeting are two different things. A voicemail serves to leave a message and contact information to an individual or business. A voicemail greeting serves to welcome those who call while you are out, encouraging them to leave a message and contact information. A well-crafted voicemail greeting also serves as a tool where one can leave a good first impression.

    5.( مرحبا بكم في .John Doe شخصيا يمكنكم الوصول إلينا من الاثنين إلى الجمعة 07:00 حتي 06:00 والسبت 10:00 حتي 01:00. إذا كنتم تريدون أن تضعوا طلبا أو لديكم سؤال، يرجى ترك الاسم ورقم الهاتف. سوف نتصل بكم مرة أخرى في أقرب وقت ممكن. يمكنكم دائما إرسال رسالة بريد إلكتروني إلى [email protected]. شكرا جزيلا لاتصالكم - وداعا.
    Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want.

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    8.) Welcome to the Service Department of the John Doe. Unfortunately, all lines are busy at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone with your name and phone number. We will call you back as soon as possible. We wish you a nice day.

    5.) Welcome to John Doe. Personally you can reach us Monday to Friday from 7am to 6pm and Saturdays from 10am to 1pm. If you want to place an order or have a question, then please leave your name, customer and phone number. We will call you back as soon as possible. You can always send an email to [email protected]. Many thanks for your call - good bye.
    Hello, you have reached the food delivery services of X. I am currently speaking to a customer and will not be able to take your call now. If you want some urgent delivery of food items, you can call our other number Y and place your order. Otherwise, kindly leave your details like your name, contact number and your order details so that I can get back to you for confirmation. Thanks for your cooperation.

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    Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.

    Avoid background noise. Whether you have music playing in your office, or you’re sitting in a coffee shop, background noise can make it difficult for your customers to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around you when you leave your voicemail greeting.
    A well written script is the cornerstone of any great on hold message. It must capture the caller’s attention, so they remain engaged while navigating menu options or waiting on hold. The script that callers hear can set the tone for the rest of the conversation. It should also be in line with your goals, which can be broken down to 3 main objectives. It can be to inform the caller, promote the brand or product, or just entertain the caller. Most of all, it has to be engaging.

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    You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

    Top 7 business voicemail greetings. 1. Hi, you’ve reached [ you name] of [ your business ]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call at the present time. Please leave your name, number and a quick message at the tone and I’ll forward your message to the appropriate person. 2.
    If the you haven't changed your personal greeting, a default system greeting will be played for callers. For example, "Please leave a message for John Smith. After the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording hang-up or press the pound key for more options."

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By presenting a clear, welcoming message containing relevant information about your business, you are showing callers that you value their time. If your recording is vague, confusing, or drags on, customers will lose interest and hang up the phone instead of leaving a voicemail message.

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Education Details: Voicemail greeting examples for small businesses. Now that we have discussed the crucial details of your professional voicemail greeting message, let’s look of the best voicemail greeting examples that can come in handy for your business. This job isn’t difficult, but you should be careful about this. free funny answering machine greetings

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Welcome to Business 1300 where our mission is to make your business even more outstanding. To better assist us in transferring the call to the appropriate person please select from one of the following options: Press one for Sales, two for Customer Service, and three for Reception. Promote your website and social media accounts. Sell additional products or services to already interested prospects. Answer FAQs Keep callers entertained while waiting. Supply important customer service information.

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By presenting a clear, welcoming message containing relevant information about your business, you are showing callers that you value their time. If your recording is vague, confusing, or drags on, customers will lose interest and hang up the phone instead of leaving a voicemail message.

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