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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.

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Home » Lists » 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages .

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I think one of the most important things to include in a business answering machine message is the hours of operation. I've often called a local business during evening hours, hoping that someone might still be there to answer a question or take a message. If I get an answering machine, I always want to know when it would be best to call back. It could be that the business was still open at night, but no one could get to the phone. By including that information on the outgoing message, I'll know not to make any more after-hours calls. Smiling while speaking can make a business answering machine greeting sound pleasant. Jotting down the greeting will prevent mistakes when recording it.
33. Hi, thank you for calling me. I apologize for not answering the phone at the moment. Please leave your name, number and message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. You can also send me an email at [your email]. Thank you, and have a nice day.

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Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, [insert office name] continues to operate remotely during our regular business hours (8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday).
True emergencies - such as extraordinary weather - should be addressed in your voicemail if it impacts your business. Thank you for calling the Carona Surf Shop. We are currently closed due to the inclement weather. Our normal business hours are Monday through Saturday, 10 am to 9 pm. Please visit www.caronasurfshop.com to order merchandise and to check our schedule during the hurricane.

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Insurance agents have to deal with large numbers of clients almost all through the year. So, they are extremely busy and cannot take calls of clients. For them resorting to voicemail messages become inevitable. Here is one instance of VOIP phone service for businesses like this:

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In today’s world of digital messaging, email, and text messaging, your business answering machine message might be an afterthought. However, you’d be surprised how many people still prefer to use phones and speak to a person directly or leave a voicemail message that can be returned at a later time.

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    Sign up for Race to 5G newsletter to get our top mobile tech stories delivered right to your inbox.

    You want to be able to easily access and change your greeting for holidays or emergencies. Ease of set-up and modification is vital to customizing and streamlining calls on an as-needed basis. Create a thorough and helpful voicemail script fit for your office Support and assist your customers in a positive and meaningful way Reduce workload on your medical receptionists Keep things in your medical office or dental office moving smoothly 24/7
    1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.

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    Next, tell him the name of the company you work at. Something along the lines of, "John this is Mark at Pinnacle."

    We hope you enjoy this website. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more!
    Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ...Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. ...Hi. ...Hello! ...A is for academics, B is for beer. ...Hi. ...Hi! ...This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. ...Hello, you are talking to a machine. ...

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    Include Basic Information: Your voicemail greeting should include basic information such as your hours of operation and location. This will help you to screen out calls during office hours, and also unnecessary voicemail inquiries.

    You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings]. We are currently off-duty. Our business hours are [Monday through Saturday, 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you on the next business day. Thank you.
    HI, you’ve reached (name). I’m so sorry I can’t pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.

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    Use these step-by-step instructions to set up your voicemail. And don't worry if you make a mistake — you'll always have the option of backing up and changing your response.

    Press 1 to turn autoplay on and off. When autoplay is turned on and you call to listen to your messages, the messages will immediately start playing. If autoplay is off, then you will be presented with the main menu options to select from (e.g., 1- listen, 2 - send).
    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

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Professional voicemail greeting examples to boost your credibility. Here are 15 business voicemail greetings to keep your clients and boost your credibility: You have reached [your name] at [your company]. Thank you for calling. Please leave your name, number and a message, and I will get right back to you. You've reached [your name] at [your

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Dexcomm is a Louisiana-based corporation that provides answering services to businesses and service agencies across the United States. We have been open since 1954, employ a staff of nearly 100 people, and our average client retention rate is 10+ years.

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We’ve all had to make phone calls we wish we didn’t have to make. While the phone rings, we pray the person doesn’t answer, so we can simply leave a voicemail message.

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Don’t rush. It’s important to speak slowly and clearly when leaving your next voicemail greeting. Have you ever called someone and the message sounds like one big word? Don’t be that guy. Pronounce your words and take pauses between your sentences

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