Your phone system can be a powerful marketing tool for your business, and that includes your voicemail greeting. If you want to utilize this opportunity to throw in a quick humblebrag and keep callers informed of your awards and accolades, there are a few best practices, you should follow. First, keep the self-promotion brief and appropriately placed within your voicemail message. Don’t promote yourself and your products/services in the same greeting, and finally, only include current achievements in your business voicemail greeting.
You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.

Standard greeting with phone number: "At the tone, please record your message to [phone number]."
Hello, this is (name). I am sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave your name, number, and a short message after the beep. Oh and please do wait by the phone till I call you back. Bye.