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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Using concise and simple words in your scripting helps ensure callers can comprehend what is being said. Although a complete on-hold message can be quite lengthy, it should include concise and to the point single messages. Aim to get each message across in around 35 to 40 words. Remember, what may read great in written word doesn't necessary sound great said out aloud.
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder. With a professional greeting, you’ll continue nurturing prospects even if you don’t pick up the phone. .

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Please contact us anytime to discuss your English speaking goals. You can call us on +61411295828, email us at [email protected] or message us with your questions using our chat widget.
My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

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You may also email the [insert office name] at [insert office email] this email is being monitored between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday.
An answering machine, answerphone or message machine, also known as telephone messaging machine (or TAM) in the UK and some Commonwealth countries, ansaphone or ansafone (from a trade name), or telephone answering device (TAD), is used for answering telephones and recording callers' messages.If a phone rings a number of times predetermined by the phone's owner, and nobody is …

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In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1960, the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr. Kazuo Hashimoto (Phonetel), was the first answering machine sold in the USA.

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-You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are.

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    You want to be a little more formal when you're recording a business voicemail greeting for your company. State your business name, your hours of operation, the manner in which you'll reach out to the caller, and a place where he or she can obtain more information about your business. Thank you for calling GreenLeaf Logistics. No one is available to answer your call right now. Our business hours are Monday through Friday, 9 am to 7 pm. Please leave your name and phone number so that someone from our Customer Success Team can follow up with you. For more information, please visit www.greenleaflogistics.com. 3. Department Wide Voicemail Greeting

    10.) Olá e bem-vindo para John Doe. Por motivos técnicos, não podemos atender a sua chamada no momento. Obrigado por sua compreensão. Estamos trabalhando em uma solução. Se você quiser, você pode deixar uma mensagem em nosso site www.johndoe.de = Obrigado e até breve.
    Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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    Top 13 Professional Voicemail Greetings – Examples, Scripts, Samples, Audio Recordings

    Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!
    Hello. You have reached Erin Klineman, Marketing Manager for Stone & Associates. I am currently out of the office attending a conference until August 4th. I will be checking messages daily, however, if you need immediate assistance, please contact Marketing Specialist, Michael Kim at extension 240. Otherwise, please leave a message, and I will call you back at my earliest opportunity.

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    First, make a list of phone numbers for everyone in your group. You can store up to 15 different groups with up to 25 people in each group. Choose 4 for Group Lists, then press 1 to create a list. Number this list 11-25, then record a name for it and press #. Enter the phone numbers of your group members one at a time.

    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
    1. 15 Professional Voicemail Greetings to Engage Your Callers. Sorry about your luck. If this is an emergency, hang up and call someone who can help you now.

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    7.) Bem-vindo a John Doe DE, o seu especialista em produtos de amostra. Se você quiser fazer um pedido, por favor, use o processo de encomenda na nossa loja on-line www.johndoe.de - Estamos ansiosos pela sua encomenda. Para todas as outras perguntas, entre em contato com nosso departamento de atendimento via e-mail em [email protected] - vamos retornar para você o mais rápido possível. Obrigado pela sua ligação.

    The difference between writing a script and writing for print is that scripts must be written for the ear and written for effective delivery by voice talent. It must be written in a conversational tone. When you create a script that’s listenable, your callers will better understand your business.
    4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.

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Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

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Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.

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Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone. 29. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. 30. Hello, this is …

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Hi there! You’ve reached the domicile of Blackmore Enterprises [Horn Honk]. We’re sorry to have missed your call, but there’s only so many hours in the day where one has the chance to gut a zombie, or nail a corpse to a tree. As such, please leave your name, contact information, and message, and we’ll try to get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks much for your call. Leave your personal name or business name Say you’re sorry you missed the call Ask them to leave their contact information and message Thank them for their call

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