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Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
“Hello! You've reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I'm currently either away from my desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep, and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as I'm available.” .

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10. Max Wait Time Reached Message. What the caller hears when they have been waiting in the queue for the maximum amount of time. Sample Scripts: “You have exceeded the waiting limit for this queue.
This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

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Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message.
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

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31. Hi, this is [your name] at [your company]. If you are calling for [include reason] please visit our [website, social media handle, etc.], contact [name and title of colleague and phone number] or send me an email at [insert email address]. For other inquiries, leave a brief message and your name and number and I will call you back by [timeframe].

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One of the most challenging aspects of writing for speech is optimising text to be read aloud and recorded. On paper, long, complex sentences are easily accommodated. When read out aloud, the same sentences can sound awkward and confusing.

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    "Look, I've had a really bad day. Yesterday too. And tomorrow doesn't look nearly as good. But, uh, if you want, go ahead and say a few words after the gunshot."

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    Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.

    8. “Thanks for calling [your name] at [your company]. I didn’t mean to send you to voicemail but I am either on the line with another client or on the go. Leave your name, number, the reason for your call today and the best time to call you back. I’ll speak with you shortly! ” Your caller probably wanted to reach you, not your voicemail. Advise your caller that you’re simply on the line with another caller and you’ll be right with them.
    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.

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    25. "Hello! Thanks for reaching out to [company]. We're closed today for the holiday, and will reopen tomorrow. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll give you a call when we're back in the office. Thanks again, and have a great day."

    With OpenPhone you can record your own voicemail greetings directly in the app, upload your own voice clips or simply type your voicemail script.
    Here are 5 sample business voicemail greeting scripts that will leave a positive and personable impression on your callers.

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    After you listen to each message, the commands shown above in BLUE are available.

    We hope you enjoy this website. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more!
    Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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Creating a professional voicemail greeting isn’t complicated, but you need to keep a few things in mind to ensure success. The following tips will help: Be friendly and welcoming - let your company's personality shine!; Have a clear voice, speak at a slow to moderate pace, minimize background noise; Ensure the greeting is human and approachable; Keep the greeting short and informative; Ensure the greeting doesn’t sound robotic or unnatural; Show your gratitude for the call by saying thank you; Manage expectations by clearly stating when the client can expect a callback.

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11.) Benvenuti alla John Doe, purtroppo ci avete chiamato fuori dall’orario di lavoro oppure non possiamo rispondere alla vostra chiamata al momento. Se volete lasciarci un messaggio, si prega di inviare una e-mail a: [email protected] – Vi contatteremo al più presto possibile. Per ulteriori informazioni su di noi, si prega di visitare il nostro sito web: www.johndoe.de. Grazie per la vostra chiamata.

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13. "Hello, you've reached [company]. If you're looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to chat with our team? Leave your name and number, and we'll return your call straight away."

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You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.

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