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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.

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You can record a personal greeting, or you can use one of the pre-recorded CenturyLink greetings. Follow the system prompts to select your greeting:
Your business depends on customer engagement, and voicemail messages are a large part of that engagement. A voicemail is nothing more than a digital recording system, where messages are stored for you to retrieve later. Voicemail allows you to be able to connect with customers while you are away or during your off-hours, where they can drop off a message while you are gone. A voicemail greeting, on the other hand, refers to the message that your callers hear upon answering the phone. .

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You don’t have to spell out every single thing that you think they might want to know. Have some faith that your callers will be able to figure things out on their own. Be natural but informative.

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Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the [insert office name] is currently operating remotely. We are retrieving voice messages on an hourly basis between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m, Monday through Friday. We invite you to leave your name and number so that we can respond to your call and will do so as soon as we are able.
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

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Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point.

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Website: https://theawesomedaily.com/funny-ways-to-answer-the-phone-hello-we-have-plenty/

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    When recording a personalized voicemail greeting on your office phone your greeting should?

    Education Details: Outline to A Great Voicemail Message It is not our recommendation to let any patient reach your voicemail but of course, we do not expect your office phones to be answered 24 hours a day. There are going to be times when people reach your message, whether they call at night or weekend. It is
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    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,

    5. Be Brief. The best after hours greetings are brief, direct, and punctual. Do not waste the customer's time and give them a reason to hang up by adding in unnecessary details.
    You should also aim to refresh your voicemail greeting in English every year. It’s likely that your pronunciation skills will improve and change over time – especially if you are taking online training like ours! So it is a good idea to refresh your English voicemail greeting regularly. When it’s time to refresh it and it’s time to record a voicemail greeting, revise our video. Each time you watch it, you’ll pick up more tips and improve your pronunciation skills.

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    Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers. There are many reasons why they shouldn’t use their personal cell phone number for business , so you’ll want to give them their own phone number through your VoIP

    2.) Bienvenue chez John Doe. Malheureusement, vous appelez en dehors des heures de bureau. Personnellement, vous pouvez appeler du lundi au vendredi de 8h à 18h et le samedi de 9h à 16h. Laissez un message ou envoyez-nous un email sur : [email protected]. Nous vous recontacterons dès que nous le pourrons. Merci.
    You have reached (Your Name) at (Your Business). We help (What Your Business Does). I wasn’t able to take your call right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

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    If your business is off for a holiday, it's a common courtesy to update your voicemail to acknowledge the closure. Mention the closure in the beginning of the message, convey when your business is reopening, and don't forget to wish the callers a happy holiday if the occasion calls for it. If you're away from your office, check your voicemail remotely to keep up with incoming messages if necessary. Or get voicemail to email capabilities set up on your phone system. Thank you for calling Merlow Plumbing. We are closed for Christmas from December 24th, 2015, until January 2nd, 2016. Our normal business hours are Monday through Thursday, 8 am - 6 pm. Please leave your message after the tone. Have a happy holiday, and we look forward to seeing you in the New Year. 5. Emergency Situation Voicemail Greeting

    From the Skype for Business desktop app (if you are running Click-2-Run build C2R 8201.1002 or later), select Set Up Voice Mail. Change your Call Answering Rules You can change what options your callers have when they reach the voicemail service; get disconnected, hear your greeting, record a message, choose to be transferred to the number or user you select. Change your prompt language This is the prompt language that is played to callers. For list of supported languages, see Languages for voicemail greetings and messages from Skype for Business. Configure your Out of Office greeting This is the customized greeting message that is played to callers when your status is Out of Office. This option can be activated "Always," when you have an active "Auto Reply" in Outlook, or whenever you have an out-of-office calendar appointment.  Where you can get your voicemail messages from
    Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.

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-(Very long pause) Wait! Please don’t hang up! I want to hear what you have to say.

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3. Offer Clear Next Steps. For many small businesses, the announcement will send the caller straight to a voicemail box. But larger organizations may decide to direct callers to a phone menu or forward the call to an external destination, depending on the situation.

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2.) Herzlich willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH. Leider rufen Sie uns außerhalb unserer Geschäftszeiten an. Persönlich erreichen Sie uns Montags bis Freitags von 8:00 bis 18:00 Uhr, Samstag von 9:00 bis 16:00 Uhr. Gerne können Sie uns eine Nachricht hinterlassen, oder Sie schreiben uns eine Email an: [email protected]. Wir werden uns dann umgehend bei Ihnen melden - Vielen Dank.

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The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation.

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