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"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

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2. Straight To The Point Voicemail Greetings. (Insert name) is either away from their desk or on another call. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and (insert name) will return your call within (insert timeframe.)
Education Details: A Professional Voicemail Greeting Takes your Business to the Next Level. Now that you’ve had an opportunity to hear a variety of great business voicemail greeting samples, you know that help is available to get just the sound and image you’re looking for. .

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And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message. Here are Best witty voice mail greetings ideas: My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then. Hello.
The answering machine, answerphone or message machine, also known as telephone messaging machine (or TAM) in the UK and some Commonwealth countries, ansaphone or ansafone (from a trade name), or telephone answering device (TAD), is used for answering telephones and recording callers' messages .If a phone rings a number of times predetermined by the phone's owner, and nobody is present to answer ...

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Please leave me a message, and I will return your call upon my return. Thank you for calling. Hi, this is Jim Smith. I am currently out of town and will be returning on July 14. If you leave me a message that includes your name, telephone number and reason for calling, I will return your call when I get back. You have reached Jim Smith.

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Website: https://www.ruby.com/answering-the-phone-3-ways-to-make-your-companys-greeting-great/

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3. Be courteous of your customers’ time: “Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number.

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    Website: https://theawesomedaily.com/funny-ways-to-answer-the-phone-hello-we-have-plenty/

    I have a confession to make: I haven't recorded a new voicemail greeting in nearly a decade. Since then, I've (hopefully) become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you'd think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority.
    4.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Você pode nos contatar durante o horário comercial de segunda a quinta-feira das 9:00 horas ao meio-dia e das 14 horas às 16:00 horas, e sexta-feira das 9:00h ao meio-dia. Você também pode nos dizer o seu pedido por e-mail [email protected] que iremos retornar para você o mais rápido possível - Obrigado.

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    Hello. (pause) Say something!! Aren’t you gonna talk at all? Why aren’t you saying something? Oh, I forgot. I need to say beep…

    9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
    “Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”

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    If you are recording a voicemail message for business, be sure you include your name and your company's name, so people know who they are calling and were they are reaching them. If you do not include the business name, they may think they have mistakenly called you at your personal number. You will also want to make sure to give callers the option to speak to someone who is currently available, an operator or other representative, by pressing a certain key (check with IT personnel to see what this might be).

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    Leaving a voicemail can still be a good way to grab the attention of a potential new customer. However, when it comes to leaving a voicemail, you only have a few seconds to actually grab the listener's attention. Most salespeople screw this up by leaving too much information and making themselves sound like a salesperson, which is the kiss of death when leaving a voicemail.

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    2. Basic Customer Inquiry. Thank you for calling [Company Name]. If you know your party’s extension, please dial it at any time. To reach our company directory, press 1.

    Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.
    Use these step-by-step instructions to set up your voicemail. And don't worry if you make a mistake — you'll always have the option of backing up and changing your response.

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This is the type of message you should aim for when you are recording an answering machine greeting at your place of business. Some people do need to leave other information for business salutations, such as office hours, and they may leave special messages when they’re on vacation. Name of the business, or your name can be important too, since people may want to be sure they’ve reached the right person or business. Answering machine greetings should be pleasant in tone.

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12.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Potete contattarci dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 8am alle 12.30pm e dall’1pm alle 4.30pm. Al momento non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio con il vostro nome e numero di telefono e vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Per casi urgenti, potete raggiungerci al numero 0821 91039-1211. Grazie.

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