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2. Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best: .

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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
Give The Caller Instructions: Instruct the callers what topics you want them to leave voicemails for, and what topics you want them to call back for during office hours.

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All of these questions are pertinent to their call, and it’s important that you answer any that is relevant to your specific situation. Make sure not to drag on too long going through all of the info.
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3. Hi, this is [your name] of [your business]. I’m currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks.

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Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.

  • what to say on a answering machine

    More Funny Clean Jokes for You:The 100BB BugPranking the Car Wrongfully Parked in Handicap Spot‏Christmas tree for the scientistsOfficer Efficiency ReportsWorst Analogies Ever Written in A High School Essay

    9.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Lo sentimos, en estos momentos no hay nadie en nuestras oficinas. Por favor, déjenos un mensaje con su nombre y número de teléfono tras escuchar la señal. Le devolveremos la llamada tan pronto como sea posible.
    7.) Welcome to John Doe DE, your specialist for sample products. If you want to place an order then please use the ordering process in our online shop www.johndoe.de - We look forward to your order. For all other questions, please contact our service department via email at [email protected] - we will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call.

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    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

    The following templates and text ideas can be used for almost any kind of voicemail greeting. You can switch the language of the text blocks by pressing the tab button.
    9. “Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number and a short message, I’ll be sure to call back.”

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    Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!

    6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.
    8.) Welcome to the Service Department of the John Doe. Unfortunately, all lines are busy at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone with your name and phone number. We will call you back as soon as possible. We wish you a nice day.

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    What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is.

    “Hey, there! This is [your name]. Please leave me a message with your name, number, and the reason you’re calling. If you also tell me [insert random fact] I’ll be sure to move you to the top of my call list. Have a great day!”
    Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.

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9. Queue Callback Message. What the caller hears when they request a callback from the queue. Sample Scripts: “You have requested to have the next available agent call you back from the queue.

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Our professionally recorded messages are yours to keep and use as required. There are no recurring monthly fees.

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30 Business Voicemail Greetings Examples; 30 Business Voicemail Greetings Examples. January 6, 2020. June 10, 2019. June 30, 2021. June 30, 2021

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