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"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'

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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
Top 7 business voicemail greetings. 1. Hi, you’ve reached [ you name] of [ your business ]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call at the present time. Please leave your name, number and a quick message at the tone and I’ll forward your message to the appropriate person. 2. .

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Generic voicemail message. The person you're trying to reach cannot answer your phone right now. Please a message with your name and number after the beep. What should you say when leaving a voicemail message?
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You’ve reached ARC Construction, leaders in home remodeling and construction services. We are pleased to announce that we were recently named ‘Best Local Contractor’ by the Phoenix Herald, and we finished another year ‘Complaint Free’ from the Better Business Bureau! It’s just the kind of service you’d expect from your hometown professionals. We are sorry we are unable to take your call at this time, please leave a message, and we will get back to you as promptly as possible.
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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?

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For office or work purposes, formal greetings are appropriate. That doesn’t mean you need to sound tired or boring and speak in a flat voice. Why not try something different and get motivated by the following greetings?

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    10. "Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours."

    20. “Hello! Thanks for reaching out to [company]. We’re closed today for the holiday, and will reopen tomorrow, [date]. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we’ll give you a call when we’re back in the office. Thanks again, and have a great [day, week].”
    Our video covers just one voicemail greeting example. There are 1000 different ways to do this. As explained above, we have carefully chosen this script for non-native English speakers. We’ve chosen it because the words chosen are likely to be easy for most non-native speakers to pronounce. So in our experience, this is the best voicemail greeting script! make sure you use the correct word stress in the multi-syllable words in your voicemail greeting.

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    5. Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.

    Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
    Call the CenturyLink voicemail retrieval number from any phone. The retrieval number is located on your welcome letter, or you can get it by calling our automated help system at 1-800-669-7676. Set your ring cycle

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    Hello, you have reached the law offices of X. Unfortunately, I am attending to another client right now, but I will return your call as soon as I can. Please leave me your name, reason for calling, and your number so I can connect you with the right department. This is far more professional than the other examples given in this guide. Lawyers should always be formal, smooth, and confident. Nobody is calling to make friends. They’re calling to get the job done. That’s why your message should be all business.

    Call us on 1300 00 1300 or CLICK HERE to get in touch with one of our Business Consultants. We'll help you produce the perfect on hold message for your business. Female Voice Male VoiceGuide to On Hold MessagesScript TypesBusiness Intro & IVROn Hold Messages & Voicemail Greetings
    For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.

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    Calls overflow to the voicemail box if they can’t be answered during business hours. This may be during unusually busy periods or if there is no one to take the call.

    Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.
    Professionally recorded messages are the prefect addition to any 1300 number set-up. Use one or a combination of recordings to boost your business image and make a great first impression.

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12.( مرحبا بكم في .JohnDoe يمكنكم الاتصال بنا من الإثنين إلى الجمعة من الساعة 08:00 إلى 12:30 زولا ومن الواحدة زوالا إلى 04:30 مساءا. لا يمكننا الرد على مكالمتكم شخصيا في الوقت الراهن. يرجى ترك رسالة مرفوقة باسمكم ورقم هاتفكم ونحن سنتصل بكم في أقرب وقت ممكن. في الحالات العاجلة يمكنكم الاتصال بنا على الرقم 1211 -91039 0821. شكرا جزيلا.

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The other problem with creating humorous messages is that occasionally someone with actual information will call. Potential employers, current bosses and clergy may not appreciate sitting through a PG-13 outgoing announcement before leaving an important message. Length is another consideration. Many people prefer an answering machine's outgoing message to be as brief and as professional as possible. Unless you own a business where listing hours of operation or contact numbers is important, try not to go past 15 seconds on an outgoing message. Post your comments Please enter the following code: Login: Forgot password? Register:

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For example, the traditional Irish Christian Blessing "May God grant you many years" makes a lovely message for callers to hear. 4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded."

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9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.

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