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For pure salaciousness, it's hard to top the tape of "A Single Woman." It says: "Hi. I'm tied up at the moment. Please leave your name and number. I'll call you when I'm freed."

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"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'
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With OpenPhone you can record your own voicemail greetings directly in the app, upload your own voice clips or simply type your voicemail script.
10. Introduce Yourself Like a Hollywood Blockbuster. If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you.

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6.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Por razones técnicas no podemos atender su llamada. Si lo desea, puede escribirnos un correo electrónico a [email protected]. Uno de nuestros empleados le contestará lo antes posible. Disculpe las molestias. Gracias por su comprensión.
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

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9. Casual and Formal Answering Machine Greetings - Take Your Pick - Social Mettle. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken.

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    Or Use Them On Your Answer Machine At Home. >>How To Change Your Voicemail Message<< Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.

    From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."
    Looking for guidance on how to record the perfect voicemail? Learn how to record professional business voicemail greetings.

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    Your AT&T VoiceMail Service access number is: 1-888-288-8893. When calling from home, if prompted, enter your password followed by #. If you are not calling from home, you will be prompted to enter your 10-digit telephone number followed by your password, then just follow the system prompts. From any Home screen, tap Phone. Touch and hold 1 or dial 123 and tap Call, or tap the Voicemail icon to call voicemail.
    Not only did mobile phones make home phones unnecessary for many, but the ability to send and receive text messages or emails on a smart phone made calls themselves feel unnecessary. Even in many workplaces, answering the phone is now either impossible due to nonstop time demands or discouraged by company cultures that prioritize digital

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    5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

    You might not be the kind of person who wants customers to go through long voicemails. If that sounds like you, here are a couple of short and sweet voicemail greetings that you can use to get your message across!
    18. “Thanks for calling [Company name/your name]. We hope you’re enjoying the holiday season. We aren’t available at the moment due to our holiday hours. Leave your name, number and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you ASAP! Thanks for calling.” Everyone deserves a break. Let your callers know although you might be enjoying one too, that their needs are important.

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    20. "Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I'm out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker's name] at [email address]. They can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you."

    7.) Bem-vindo a John Doe DE, o seu especialista em produtos de amostra. Se você quiser fazer um pedido, por favor, use o processo de encomenda na nossa loja on-line www.johndoe.de - Estamos ansiosos pela sua encomenda. Para todas as outras perguntas, entre em contato com nosso departamento de atendimento via e-mail em [email protected] - vamos retornar para você o mais rápido possível. Obrigado pela sua ligação.
    Top 13 Professional Voicemail Greetings – Examples, Scripts, Samples, Audio Recordings

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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."

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My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

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True emergencies - such as extraordinary weather - should be addressed in your voicemail if it impacts your business. Thank you for calling the Carona Surf Shop. We are currently closed due to the inclement weather. Our normal business hours are Monday through Saturday, 10 am to 9 pm. Please visit www.caronasurfshop.com to order merchandise and to check our schedule during the hurricane.

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