Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call.
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
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When I was in my 20s, I had an answering machine with a 30 second outgoing message tape. I thought it would be fun to come up with all sorts of cute or funny messages for my friends to hear just before the beep. It got pretty elaborate sometimes, with celebrity impersonations and movie spoofs and other things. I didn't usually get many important phone calls anyway, so I didn't see any harm in being funny for the few people who did call.
Business professionals are also encouraged to keep their voicemail organized. Delete any messages from the office phone that are no longer necessary after calls are returned, and write down any phone numbers that are needed at the time the message is listened to. If modern voicemail service is utilized, such as that supplied by Voicemail Office, in which voicemail and fax messages are received in a staff member’s email inbox, the individual should write a short explanation in the body of the email if forwarding any voicemail messages to other staff members.
Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.
Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
6. You have reached [your business]. All of our representatives are currently busy, but if you leave us a detailed message with your name and number we will return your call in the next two hours. Thank you for calling and have a great day.
The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation.
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."
Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
I finally got an answering machine. But how does this useless thing work? Aah, the record button, which I already pressed. The light is on. I wonder why the machine is not working properly? I wonder what this button right here does… beep
Please leave me a message, and I will return your call upon my return. Thank you for calling. Hi, this is Jim Smith. I am currently out of town and will be returning on July 14. If you leave me a message that includes your name, telephone number and reason for calling, I will return your call when I get back. You have reached Jim Smith.
“Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I’m currently either away from my desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I’m available.” Press and hold the 1 key to access the voicemail system. When you hear the recorded message, press the # key to bring you to the system menu. Press 4, for the Personal Options followed by 2 for Personal Greeting. Follow the prompts to record, listen to, re-record and save your greeting. How do I change my voicemail number on Samsung Galaxy s8? Find “Voicemail number” Press Phone. Press the menu icon. Press Settings. Press Voicemail settings. Press Voicemail number. Save voicemail number. Key in +61414121121 and press OK. +61414121121. Return to the home screen. Press the Home key to return to the home screen. Dial voicemail: Press and then hold on the envelope icon displayed on the main screen. Enter Your Accounts Password: Enter the password if prompted. Delete voicemail: Tap 7 on any voicemail and it will be deleted successfully. Open the dial pad on the device. Open the application drawer and scroll through to find the Phone app. Dial Voicemail. Tapping the number 1 and then hitting the green phone icon at the bottom should call Voicemail. Enter a password (if there is one). Skip through messages. Delete a voicemail. Log into Google Voice. Click on the gear icon. Select “Settings” from the menu options. Click the “Voicemail & Text” button. Click “Record New Greeting” in the Voicemail Greeting section. Enter the name for the greeting you are going to record. Select forwarding phones. Click “Connect.”
19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."
Press *98 from your home phone only. *98 message retrieval may not be available in all areas.
In-person service is not being provided at our campus location. The best way to connect with [insert office name] is by [insert preferred method: email, phone, other]. You should receive a reply to your inquiry within [ # ] business days.
3. Be courteous of your customers’ time: “Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number.