I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on
You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
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To best assist your callers and effectively route their calls, you will need to classify your call types.
18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
Your AT&T VoiceMail Service access number is: 1-888-288-8893. When calling from home, if prompted, enter your password followed by #. If you are not calling from home, you will be prompted to enter your 10-digit telephone number followed by your password, then just follow the system prompts. From any Home screen, tap Phone. Touch and hold 1 or dial 123 and tap Call, or tap the Voicemail icon to call voicemail.
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
Context does matter here. If the caller would reasonably expect you to answer the phone (such as if they were calling a store or other place of business), an apology for not being able to get to the phone makes the most sense.
1. Personal Business Voicemail Greetings. Hello! You’ve reached (insert company name.) This is (insert name) in the (insert department.) My apologizes for not being available to take your call, but I’m on the line helping another customer (insert business’s most attractive result or purpose point.)
Education Details: Outline to A Great Voicemail Message It is not our recommendation to let any patient reach your voicemail but of course, we do not expect your office phones to be answered 24 hours a day. There are going to be times when people reach your message, whether they call at night or weekend. It is
When recording a personalized voicemail greeting on your office phone, your greeting should. A. include only the company name and your extension number. How do I make a personal voicemail greeting? Start with a polite “Hello”. Inform the caller of who you are, and apologize for missing the call. End your script by asking the caller to leave a name and contact number with a brief message. Inform the caller that you will get back to them as soon as possible.
5. Offering the Operator First. You’ve reached [Company Name], the [company’s slogan]. Please choose from the following menu options: To speak with the operator, press 0.
Education Details: Option (2): If your call is urgent and cannot wait for a return call, call/text (Name/Title) at (Phone). • Every CMSD desk telephone and cell phone must be equipped with a voicemail greeting that is professional and concise and that conveys relevant and useful information to the caller. o Telephone number to dial for immediate assistance.
If they are calling without an expectation that you always pick up (such as if you are a business coach or a one-man shop) then thanking them for calling might make the most sense.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].
These work voicemail greetings are for the work phone that you and only you use. They’re highly effective because they help you establish a relationship straight from the voicemail. Or they help you share an important update in a simple, straightforward way.
If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers. Here are sample greetings you can use to help you craft your own.
Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message."