Here's the problem with recording elaborate joke messages on your answering machine: Your answering machine will become more popular than the person who owns it. Friends would tell total strangers to call my number and listen to the new goofy message. They would become disappointed if I actually answered the call first. I would have to hang up and let the machine pick up just for other people's entertainment. Dozens of people were finally calling my home phone, but few of them wanted to talk to me personally.
4. Sincere and Short Voicemail Messages for Personal Use. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones.

Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople.
While missed calls aren’t ideal, you can let your caller know you’re still there for them by having a great voicemail greeting. The best business voicemail greetings let your customers (and potential customers) know why you’re not available and how they can best get in contact with your business. They are also short and to the point. You usually want to keep your greeting between 6 and 24 seconds long so callers don’t hang up halfway through.