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6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.
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From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."
Website: https://grasshopper.com/blog/perfect-voicemail-greetings-10-tips-for-recording-effective-and-professional-messages-plus-examples/

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Thank you for calling BusinessCo. Unfortunately you have called us outside business hours. For more information on our products and services please visit our website at businessco.com.au. Alternatively, please leave your name, phone number and a message and we’ll return your call on our next business day. Thank you.
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Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.

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4. You have reached [your business]. All of our sales representatives are busy serving other customers but we would like to return your call as soon as possible. For current pricing information or to check the status of your order, please visit us on the web at [your website]. Otherwise, please leave us a message with your name and number after the tone. If you would like to return to the previous menu, press the [key to main menu].

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    Unexpected crises like COVID-19 can occur at any time. Here are a few example business voicemail scripts you can adapt for those unanticipated events. It’s important to incorporate key information that your clients need to know. You should also add a human touch by expressing your goodwill for them and their families.

    If you know your PIN and simply want to change it, dial *98 from your home phone and enter your PIN. Then, from the main menu, do the following: For security options, press 3 To change your PIN, press 1 Enter your new PIN (4-15 digits) To confirm, enter your new PIN again
    1.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Lo sentimos, en estos momentos no hay nadie disponible en nuestras oficinas o está llamando fuera de nuestro horario de trabajo. Por favor, deje un mensaje o envíe un correo electrónico a [email protected]. Gracias por su llamada.

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    "Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'

    A dentist is similar to a doctor. Unlike a doctor, a dentist is going to get far more non-urgent calls as patients will want to know when they can pick up various orders, as well as to book follow-up appointments. The key here is prioritizing so the dentist can respond promptly to the patients who need emergency dental work and other urgent consultations.
    10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.

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    5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

    Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!
    2. If you’re out of the office: “Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date].

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    If done tastefully, you can promote your products or services on your voicemail greeting without sounding pushy. In fact, it’s a great way to keep customers up-to-date on company events, sales, and other news. Be sure to keep it short and have fun with it.
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After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.

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A standard recording includes up to 75 words and is up to 30 seconds in length. It includes a WAV File that can be uploaded onto most PBX systems and for use with inbound numbers. For a tailor made recording including on-hold promotional messages with background music please call 1300 00 1300 or CLICK HERE.

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Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person. While the message on his personal line might not be ideal, he took the time to record a professional voicemail message for his business phone, which makes it stand out.

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