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Thank you for calling (Your Name) at (Your Business), where (What You Do). I’m sorry that I was unable to take your call. Please leave me your name, number, and a quick message and I’ll call you back shortly.

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And you’re done! Your CenturyLink voicemail is now set up. Whenever you have an unheard message, you'll hear a stuttered dial tone when you pick up your home phone.
A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you're in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there's a chance they won't appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. .

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Obviously, I need to update it. And if you haven't changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you're likely in the same boat.
Here are some tips from Holdcom's Client Relations team about voicemail messages for business:

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Funny Answering Machine Messages Sample Messages Funny answering machine messages are basically messages that are recorded in an answering machine and are intended to deliver a humorous punch to the Sample Funny Answering Machine Messages: " You have reached the voicemail of God! Now try and humor me or stop wasting my time!
Make your business stand with a professional voice recording. Our voice artists have over 18 years worth of experience and produce messages of the highest quality.

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-Hello? Oh hey wait a minute I can’t hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still can’t hear you. You want to know why? Because I’m not here right now. So leave a message at the beep.

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Hi, this is [your name] of [your business]. I’m currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks.

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    Below you can hear 2 individual voicemail greeting examples that we did. For more info about our Voicemail Greeting service please visit the custom phone messages site. https://voxendo.com/audiodemos/text-demos/english/after-hours-greeting-voicemail-greeting/voicemail-greeting-demo-diane.mp3 https://voxendo.com/audiodemos/text-demos/english/after-hours-greeting-voicemail-greeting/voicemail-greeting-demo-rebecca-uk.mp3 Voicemail Greetings are the most used telephone messages. The opening hours should be called and maybe your website and/or email address.

    1. State Your Business Name. The first thing your callers should hear is the name of your business or organization. This assures them that they have dialed the right phone number and keeps them on the line.
    Press 3 (Voicemail Preferences) and then press 1 to turn date and time on and off. Turn off the date and time so you don't hear them automatically. When you do need to know, you can press 5 during or after the message. Send group messages

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    8. Funny Voicemail Greetings. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. I'm David's answering machine. What are you? Hi, this is John's answering machine.

    Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message."
    › Url: https://www.marketingmessages.com/media/Sample-Voice-Prompts-For-Healthcare.pdf Go Now

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    Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call.

    Voicemails need to maintain a professional consistency that’s aligned with the entity it’s representing. That said, the structure can vary depending on the situation. There’s no template set in stone. In fact, trite and generic should be off the table. The goal should be a balance of uniqueness and practicality.
    Website: https://beyondthereceptiondesk.wordpress.com/2013/07/19/answer-machine-messages-get-it-right/

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    Unfortunately, not all phone numbers can be dialed: Slydial doesn't work with landline phones, third-party voicemail services, VoIP numbers, or prepaid mobile phones. If you subscribe to one of the premium plans, you can eliminate the ads on the service and send messages to multiple contacts at once.

    We live and work in a fast moving, global business world and first impressions are lasting impressions. Make them count.
    Press 8 to send a reply message directly back to the person who called you. Let's say it's late at night and you don't want to ring the person's phone. Maybe you just don't want to talk right now, but you still want to answer their message. Just press 8 to automatically leave a reply message in that person's voicemail.

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4. You have reached [your business]. All of our sales representatives are busy serving other customers but we would like to return your call as soon as possible. For current pricing information or to check the status of your order, please visit us on the web at [your website]. Otherwise, please leave us a message with your name and number after the tone. If you would like to return to the previous menu, press the [key to main menu].

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Education Details: General voicemail greeting: used as the default voicemail greeting if no other greeting type is set. Internal voicemail greeting: used to greet people who call your department from within your own company (i.e. from another extension).Generally, this is only applicable to very large companies. External voicemail greeting: played for people who call from outside …

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4. Humorous Voicemail Greetings. While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey.

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Make sure you visit the recording practise page where you can record your phrases and perfect them before putting them on your phone.

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