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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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We’ve all had to make phone calls we wish we didn’t have to make. While the phone rings, we pray the person doesn’t answer, so we can simply leave a voicemail message.
Website: https://www.macrynvoicegreetings.com/voicemail-greetings-business-phones-cell-phones/ .

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From the main menu, select 4 (Mailbox Options) and then press 3 (Security Options).
You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Creating a professional voicemail greeting isn’t complicated, but you need to keep a few things in mind to ensure success. The following tips will help: Be friendly and welcoming - let your company's personality shine!; Have a clear voice, speak at a slow to moderate pace, minimize background noise; Ensure the greeting is human and approachable; Keep the greeting short and informative; Ensure the greeting doesn’t sound robotic or unnatural; Show your gratitude for the call by saying thank you; Manage expectations by clearly stating when the client can expect a callback.
For the most up to date campus information, please visit Carleton’s COVID-19 information website.

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2. Straight To The Point Voicemail Greetings. (Insert name) is either away from their desk or on another call. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and (insert name) will return your call within (insert timeframe.)

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-Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

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    Our video covers just one voicemail greeting example. There are 1000 different ways to do this. As explained above, we have carefully chosen this script for non-native English speakers. We’ve chosen it because the words chosen are likely to be easy for most non-native speakers to pronounce. So in our experience, this is the best voicemail greeting script! make sure you use the correct word stress in the multi-syllable words in your voicemail greeting.

    Hi there! You’ve reached the sewer on the next street. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you take a wee walk, I’ll be at the sewer grate with the red balloon…floating. Please feel free to join me.
    Welcome to Business 1300 where our mission is to make your business even more outstanding. Please hold the line and one of our representatives will be with you shortly.

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    These were just some ideas for voicemail greeting. You can definitely include your own creativity to them and make them your personal answering machine greeting. The choices are endless when you start thinking of how to add some oomph to your machine.

    2.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Infelizmente você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Você pode nos contatar de segunda a sexta-feira das 8:00 às 18:00 e sábado das 9:00 às 16:00 horas. Por favor deixe uma mensagem ou nos envie um e-mail para: [email protected]. Entraremos em contato o mais rápido possível - Obrigado.
    Calling your retrieval number — instead of your home phone number — is a faster way to listen to your messages remotely. You will be prompted immediately to enter your PIN and don't have to wait for your greeting to start.

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    5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].

    One of the chief considerations in recording an answering machine greeting is your audience. Who will be listening to your answering machine or voicemail salutation? Is this a business line or a home phone line? Furthermore, just how much information do you want to give out to potential strangers, like telemarketers, who may be calling your home? Long answering machine greetings may be inconvenient for callers.
    In Australian English it’s pronounced with the vowel /a:/ like in ‘part’. Problems arise when people use the /ʌ/ vowel (like in ‘up’) instead of /æ/ or /a:/. If you do this is will sound like the worst swear word in English. Many non-native speakers often pronounce the vowel /æ/ more like /ʌ/ because they don’t have a vowel like /æ/ in their first language. Many speakers of European languages will do this (Spanish speakers and Italian speakers) and also speakers of Japanese and Korean. This problem with /æ/ also means that if you say the word ‘back’ in your voicemail greeting sample, you are likely to pronounce it more like ‘buck’. remember to pronounce word endings in English. Check you aren’t dropping any endings off or mispronouncing them.

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    Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

    You message should convey the same courtesy to your callers as a person would who is speaking to someone in your office. Saying things like "thank you for calling" and "have a nice day", in addition to watching your tone of voice, will help you to represent your office in a compassionate and professional manner.
    We look forward to hearing from you and helping you improve your English pronunciation and spoken English.

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2. “Hi! We’re glad you called [company name]. We’re happy to help but we are either on the line with another client or on the go! Please let us know your name, number, and reason for your call today. As soon as we become available, we will call you right back. Thanks!” Ask your callers to leave a short message so you can determine when to return their call.

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This is exactly why you need to create such a voicemail that lets your prospects analyze it and give their details for you to reach out to them.

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In the case that your business is closed due to an emergency, it's only worth it to go into detail if the problem is affecting everyone in the area. Otherwise, stick to your Company Wide Voicemail Greeting, but remove the stated hours and tell callers that you're currently closed. Thank you for calling Cutlass Technology. Our store is currently closed. Please leave your name and phone number so that someone from our team can follow up with you. For more information, please visit www.cutlasstechnology.com

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