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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
10.) Buongiorno, e benvenuti alla John Doe. Per motivi tecnici, non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata. Ringraziamo per la vostra comprensione. Stiamo lavorando sodo per trovare una soluzione. Se volete, potete lasciare un messaggio sulla nostra homepage: www.johndoe.de – Grazie e arrivederci. .

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If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
If you're looking to go all out to give the best possible first impression to your customers, hire a professional voice actor. Our customers love the voices available on Fiverr, a website that matches businesses with creative talent. You can get a professional recording done for as little as $5. If you're looking for a high-end product, check out The Voice Realm which offers the best voice talent on the planet. The quality is astounding.

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39. Thank you for calling. I apologize for missing your call. I’m busy right now, but if you leave your name, number and message, I will return your call as soon as possible.
As a bonus, here is an example of our own holiday voicemail greeting here at OpenPhone:

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Who is the message for? What is the caller's phone number? and; What is the message? Group Practice. Together, let's listen to this phone message for the information above. tires.mp3. Can you answer each of the questions above? Let's listen again, and this time write down the information on the message form your teacher gave you.

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You want to be a little more formal when you're recording a business voicemail greeting for your company. State your business name, your hours of operation, the manner in which you'll reach out to the caller, and a place where he or she can obtain more information about your business. Thank you for calling GreenLeaf Logistics. No one is available to answer your call right now. Our business hours are Monday through Friday, 9 am to 7 pm. Please leave your name and phone number so that someone from our Customer Success Team can follow up with you. For more information, please visit www.greenleaflogistics.com. 3. Department Wide Voicemail Greeting

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    How do I change my voicemail greeting on Android? Open the Phone app . Press and hold “1” to call your voicemail. Enter your PIN and press “#”. Press “*” for the menu. Press “4” to change settings. Press “1” to change your greeting. Follow the recorded instructions. Access your main voicemail menu. Listen for instructions to enter your password. From the main menu press 3 for Personal Options. Press 2 for Greetings. Press 1 to Change Greeting. Press 1 to Record personal greeting or press 2 to select the standard greeting. Tap on Call settings and select Voicemail. Tap on Voicemail service and select My carrier or My operator. Tap on Setup, select Voicemail number and type in your voicemail number. Tap on OK in the Voicemail number changed popup.
    Context does matter here. If the caller would reasonably expect you to answer the phone (such as if they were calling a store or other place of business), an apology for not being able to get to the phone makes the most sense.

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    12. "Hi, you've reached [company]. We're available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you'd like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the tone."

    3.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. No momento não podemos atender a sua ligação ou você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Por favor, deixe uma mensagem com seu nome e número de telefone que vamos ligá-lo de volta o mais rápido possível. Obrigado e até breve.
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    You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

    Many busy businesses utilize auto attendant greetings to make a great first impression, however, if your business relies on the personal touch of a live receptionist, it is important to have a plan in place when that position is unstaffed. Make sure your voicemail greeting contains the useful information that your receptionist would normally provide. This could include: location & directions, office hours, website URL, or social media info, as well as any pertinent company information.
    When you leave a voicemail do not use your full name because that immediately raises a red flat that you are a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, say your first name only followed by your company name. This will make your customer feel that you are much more familiar with each other than you really are. Saying your last name would defeat the whole purpose of demonstrating familiarity.

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    People have short attention spans these days, and you should always craft your communications for the lowest common denominator with something as universal as your voicemail.
    Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.

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printable voicemail log template

Website: https://www.slideshare.net/voicemailprofessional/best-voicemail-greetings

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Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.

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10. Escape the Voicemail Box Option. You have reached the voicemail of [person’s name]. If you would like to leave a voicemail, please press 1 and leave your name, number, and a brief message.

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