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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Choose words and expressions that complement your business, brand and industry. As an example, a construction company would use words and expressions that convey high quality and solid workmanship; while a florist would use sensory descriptions that arouse smell and beauty.
While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey. Since (insert name) isn’t available at the moment to take your call, but will promptly return it should you decide to accept your mission and leave your name and number, we have a very important question to occupy you in the meantime. Why did the chicken cross the road? Voicemail Greetings For Vacation .

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To create a greater sense of authority, and that you are somebody important, list the name of a person and company who you've worked with before, especially if that person and company is a direct competitor of the person you are calling. Nothing grabs the interest of the person you are calling faster than hearing the name of their main competitor.
6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.

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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
Website: https://www.snaprecordings.com/blog/preparing-your-business-messaging-for-covid-19-impact

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3. Language Options. Hello, you have reached [Company Name]. To continue in English, press 1, for Spanish, press 2. (Wait for customer to enter an option.)

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There you have it, a basic introduction into how to write the best voicemail greetings. As you have seen, they’re not as easy as you’d think, but once you get comfortable with the type of information required by each, writing and recording your own should be a piece of cake. If you’ve tried to write one yourself and still don’t ‘feel you’ve captured the right essence, then please look at one of our voicemails greeting templates. When it comes to recording it, remember to rehearse your script and speak clearly. If you don’t care for your own voice, then have someone else record it, or hire a professional voice actor. Remember, there are also free audio editing software programs like Audacity, where you can manipulate your recording until you get exactly what you want.

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    Keep it short and sweet so that the caller can quickly leave their message and move on with their day.

    Hi, this is [your name] of [your business]. I’m currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks.
    To set up your voicemail, press #55 or *68 from your home phone or call the retrieval number you received with your welcome letter. Voice prompts will guide you through the rest of the steps.

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    This is the message that is used in personal physical answering machines and in the network answering machines offered by telephone operators. ORDER YOUR MESSAGES This is the voicemail of the lawyer John Smith, the lawyer can not answer at the moment, leave a message after the tone and you’ll be called back as soon as possible.

    Always end with appreciation such as saying thank you. Another way you could end the call is to tell him you know he's busy but you'd appreciate a call back. Whichever way you choose to end your voicemail, make sure you smile as you say it. A mouth that is frowning has a different sound than a smiling mouth.
    Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.

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    5.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Potete raggiungerci personalmente dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 7am alle 6pm e il Sabato dalle 10am all’1pm. Se volete effettuare un ordine o avete domande, si prega di lasciare il vostro nome, numero cliente e numero di telefono. Vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Potete anche inviarci una e-mail a: [email protected]. Grazie per aver chiamato – arrivederci.

    Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner. Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages …
    Businesses should have two main types of greetings to create an excellent call experience. The first one is what we call a “welcome greeting” – this greeting welcomes callers to your business. Typically, a welcome greeting will present a menu of call options like hours, location, or customer service. For more details on how to create a welcome greeting for your general business number, read this article.

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    On the Phone tab, click the voicemail icon below the dial pad, and then click Change Greetings. Skype for Business calls your voicemail and guides you to record a personal greeting.

    5. Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.
    Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don’t want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I’d like to… beep.

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Funny Answering Machine Messages Sample Messages Funny answering machine messages are basically messages that are recorded in an answering machine and are intended to deliver a humorous punch to the Sample Funny Answering Machine Messages: " You have reached the voicemail of God! Now try and humor me or stop wasting my time!

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4. Product-Focused. Thanks for calling [Company Name].For more information about our products, press 1. If you have troubleshooting questions, press 2. For billing questions, press 3.

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People have short attention spans these days, and you should always craft your communications for the lowest common denominator with something as universal as your voicemail.

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