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Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.

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15. "This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it's really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day."
Prospecting refers to the process through which a business attracts new clients. This, surprisingly, is not as easy as it may sound. It requires you . . . .

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Voicemail greetings can include any information you’d wish to convey, such as special sales, bargains, alternate phone numbers to use, or your company’s normal working hours.
Please leave your name and telephone number after the beep. Thank you for calling. You have reached the office of James Bucki. I can’t take your call right now, but if you leave me a message after the tone, I will return your call as soon as I can.

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Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.
Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.

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With music and messaging that appeals to your target market, you will captivate your audience. Your Message On Hold program can be more than a time filler for callers waiting, it can be an informative, entertaining, and educational tool. With the right content, callers will not only stay on hold, but will have an emotional reaction to your message.

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    "This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

    Your voicemail greeting on your business telephone system is the very first thing your business associates and clients will hear when calling your company. For the first time callers, probably your potential customers, you only got a chance to provide a great first impression that will be provided by your voicemail greeting message. For the ones who frequently call your company, you would want to make your voicemail greeting prompts as efficient as possible in order for you not to waste your client’s precious time in listening to your whole voicemail greetings every time they make a call.
    4. Voicemail greetings for calls received after business hours. You don’t want to answer calls 24/7 (unless you’re serving clients globally and there’s an expectation of 24/7 support).

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    After helping tens of thousands of companies set up voicemail systems, we’ve learned that there is no set of rules defining what makes a great business voicemail, but there are definitely some key points that you should aim to hit. Before you hit the record button for your voicemail message, take some of these tips into account:

    A voicemail greeting script for an individual lawyer should be brief and encourage face-to-face meetings over phone tag. This allows you to interact with your client directly, and if you're a defense lawyer, it could keep your client from saying incriminating things over the phone. This is …
    Avoid background noise. Whether you have music playing in your office, or you’re sitting in a coffee shop, background noise can make it difficult for your customers to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around you when you leave your voicemail greeting.

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    "Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'

    This video on English Voicemail Greeting Sample covers the key areas of English pronunciation such as double / diphthong vowels, long vowels, word stress and word endings and more.
    Hello, you have reached the firm of real estate agent X. I am currently in a meeting with a client, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Kindly leave your name, your reason for calling and your contact number so that I can get back to you at the earliest. If there is any kind of urgency, you can get in touch with me at Y number.

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    A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you're in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there's a chance they won't appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead.

    No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.
    Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople.

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Funny Voicemail Greetings. Composing these types of greetings are fun, but they aren’t applicable for some situations. You may make a funny voicemail greeting for your own personal voicemail box. However, it’s not appropriate for professional or business phones. Here are some humorous examples for you: You have reached [mention your name].

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3. Funny Examples of Voicemail Messages. These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, please leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.

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16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

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-Hey! Sorry I missed your call. If you’re a telemarketer, then I’m definitely not sorry. If you’re not a telemarketer, then I’ll return your call as soon as possible.

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