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Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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“Hey, there! This is [your name]. Please leave me a message with your name, number, and the reason you’re calling. If you also tell me [insert random fact] I’ll be sure to move you to the top of my call list. Have a great day!”
Website: https://www.ruby.com/answering-the-phone-3-ways-to-make-your-companys-greeting-great/ .

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-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine. Readers also Love to Read:100+ Affirmations for Long Distance Relationship 59+ Best Goodbye Messages to Colleagues 101+ Catchy Goodbye Slogans and Quotes 48+ Best Wedding Puns and Funny Quotes “Learn to Stress Less” 68+ Inspiring Quotes
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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
Route callers quickly and efficiently with professional voice prompts in a consistent, clear and concise voice. close Support Center Home phone Calling features Voicemail basics

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From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."

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I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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    1 (800) 801 3381 Product Pricing Promise Blog OnSIP Features VoIP Fundamentals VoIP Solutions SMB Tips Industry News OnSIP News VoIP Reviews Resources Library 1.800.801.3381 Team Directory Partner with OnSIP Developers Support App Admin VoIP Resources Small Business Tips Business Communications Business Voicemail Greetings: 5 Sample Scripts

    -You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are.
    On the other hand, a stellar professional voicemail is more than just a way to ensure callers are heard. It’s actually a gateway to encourage recruiters, clients, connections, venders, and other callers to continue forward with the first step in developing a business relationship, which is them making contact. The power of the right voicemail greeting is the caller actually staying on the line to leave that contact information or gain access to an alternative contact point.

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    3. Department Wide Voicemail Greeting. This voicemail greeting should list the name of the department, the hours of operation or the whereabouts of your personnel, the protocol for following up with the customer, and another way to get in touch with the department.

    › Url: http://education.ohio.com/cgi-bin/content/view.php?data=sample_answering_machine_scripts&filetype=pdf&id=0cb81d48f8509403cfb719100c7b90bc Go Now
    There you have it, a basic introduction into how to write the best voicemail greetings. As you have seen, they’re not as easy as you’d think, but once you get comfortable with the type of information required by each, writing and recording your own should be a piece of cake. If you’ve tried to write one yourself and still don’t ‘feel you’ve captured the right essence, then please look at one of our voicemails greeting templates. When it comes to recording it, remember to rehearse your script and speak clearly. If you don’t care for your own voice, then have someone else record it, or hire a professional voice actor. Remember, there are also free audio editing software programs like Audacity, where you can manipulate your recording until you get exactly what you want.

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    Nothing drives me crazier than a business answering machine message that is way too long. If all of this information is available on a website, then the message should include a line like "For more information about our company, please visit (website URL)". I think the hours of operation, a few lines about the importance of my phone call, and then a prompt to wait for the recording tone should be enough. AnswerMan February 7, 2014

    Examples of Good Business Voicemail Messages. It makes a positive difference when you record a greeting message that adheres to the basic elements of good voicemail greetings. Here are some good business voicemail greeting examples: Hello, this is Jim Smith. I am currently on the phone servicing another client.
    After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.

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    Reassuring the caller that they contacted the correct number or reached the person they intended helps reduce the number of hang-ups and wasted messages you’ll receive. Here are a few notes on how to leave the best greeting possible, along with some voicemail message examples you can use in your own company!

    5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays.
    You want to be able to easily access and change your greeting for holidays or emergencies. Ease of set-up and modification is vital to customizing and streamlining calls on an as-needed basis. Create a thorough and helpful voicemail script fit for your office Support and assist your customers in a positive and meaningful way Reduce workload on your medical receptionists Keep things in your medical office or dental office moving smoothly 24/7

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Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.

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Call us on 1300 00 1300 or CLICK HERE to get in touch with one of our Business Consultants. We'll help you produce the perfect on hold message for your business. Female Voice Male VoiceGuide to On Hold MessagesScript TypesBusiness Intro & IVROn Hold Messages & Voicemail Greetings

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Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……

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